Relationships aren’t perfect, and you’ll have days where you just need to breathe when things get a bit too overwhelming. Instead of making a decision that you’ll probably regret such as end the relationship abruptly, this is where taking a break is best. When you’re on a relationship break, you’re not broken up.
You’re just taking the time and space to see things in a different light and breathe from all the confusion, arguments, and difficult feelings from your relationship. Remember that a relationship break isn’t an implication that your relationship is over and done with.
So this isn’t your free card to flirt around and do something unwise *unless that’s what you both agree upon*. Instead, it’s the time for both of you to heal from whatever issues you need healing from and just to take a little time to pause on everything.
# Make these rules specific and concrete
Are you going to be seeing other people? Are you allowed to have sex with other people? These are the questions you need to discuss with your partner regarding your relationship break rules. Sit with them and discuss what you both feel should happen during your break, and take it from there.
Now, whether you and your partner follow them is up to both of you. But placing the rules there makes sure everyone knows the expectations. The more direct and precise your rules are, the better.
# When will the break end?Make sure you and your partner mark off on the calendar when the break will end. Regardless if you reconcile or not, you need a day to meet up and talk about what will happen next. So discuss when you both want the break to end. Do you want to get back together in two weeks, a month, three months?
You both have to come to a mutual agreement on when you think it should end. But you should also take note that the longer the break, the more you’re both being accustomed to a life without each other.
# Make sure you write down how you feel
Your feelings are the most important thing you need to focus on at this time. Initially, you feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but how will you feel a couple days from now? Writing down your feelings will benefit you during this relationship break.
Even if you miss them with an overwhelming intensity, you might feel differently in a couple of weeks. You might even realize you don’t need them in your life any longer.
# Use this time wisely
A relationship break isn’t just about doing whatever spontaneously, but you should use this time wisely. This break occurred because something in your relationship made you feel too overwhelmed, confused, or in pain. Spend this time doing the things you love, including being around your loved ones.
By using your time properly, you evaluate your relationship. Do things that make you feel good during this time. It helps you see whether this person fits in your life anymore. If you don’t imagine your life with them anymore after all this, well, that’s what a break is for.
# Be socialSome people use breaks the wrong way. Don’t cry and eat ice cream while watching depressing movies at home. People tend to retreat when they go through something like this but don’t do that. Be social, see your friends, laugh, and have a beer.
Socializing is kind of the point in a relationship break as it helps you see what life is like without them in the picture. So the last thing you should be doing is giving in to your sadness and dwelling on it.
# Don’t take a break to solve an issue
Taking a break is not what you should be doing because you’re scared to talk about an issue. Do not use breaks as a way to solve problems. Breaks should be used as a way to reflect. Before deciding to take a break, you should’ve both talked about what needs to be discussed.
So if you’re using the break as a way to deflect your problems or assume that things will magically get better after your break, you’re doing this for all the wrong reasons. You can use breaks to reflect on your problems and get some perspective, but don’t rely on it to fix things.