Are you someone who feels alone whether in a relationship or not? The sad reality of life is that when our ride is over, we leave on our own. I don’t mind dying, I just don’t want to go by myself. Imagine if you died and brought one person along, who would you bring? If you don’t know, and don’t feel as if there are any meaningful enough connections in your life, then the problem most likely lies within you. Feeling forever alone is a very powerful and painful experience.
Humans are designed for connection. Given the ability to communicate, work together, and rely on other people not only meets our social needs, it fills our physical needs as well. Numerous psychological studies focus on studying the effects of the deprivation of human touch and relationships in people.
Those with less social support feel more disconnected, or generally feel lonely, resulting in poorer health outcomes both mentally and physically. The good news? You don’t have to keep feeling like you will be forever alone!
# Put away your past
Often people guide their future based on past experience. If rejection occurred in your past, or you reached out to someone only to be pushed back, let it go. If you approach each new day and each new connection in your life with full potential to be linked with those around you, you’ll be surprised how quickly things will turn around.
# Examine current relationshipsIf your current relationship makes you feel forever alone, it may not be you, but the person you are with. There are certain personality styles that make others feel alone and insignificant. If someone isn’t giving of themselves, it makes you feel disconnected and lacking. Examine your current relationships to see if they drive your feelings of loneliness.
# Don’t waste your energyPeople with a tendency to feel forever alone often spend their time and energy on unavailable people.
If some friendships leave you feeling worthless or lonelier than being alone, stop wasting your time trying to grab their attention. They are either unwilling or unable to give it to you. You can’t choose your family, but you choose your friends. So choose those willing to invest back the time you give to them.
# Don’t close yourself off
If you have been hurt in the past and decided—never again, you become your worst enemy. If you don’t open yourself up to others, they never get close enough to get to know you. We all have one side we show to the world and the other we keep hidden. If you long to connect to people, be the genuine you, put yourself out there, and be vulnerable enough for rejection.
# Learn to love yourself
Most of the time, people who feel perpetually lonely find they can’t get the one person they really need in their life to like them themselves. If you don’t love yourself and find yourself worthy, convincing others of your worth gets much harder. Sometimes, the hardest part of life means learning to enjoy hanging out with the one person who you can’t get rid of. You!
# Take stockMost of us would be surprised at the people who experience feeling forever alone. Seemingly they have friends, family, and close relationships, but all of us feel lonely at times. If you stop and take a good look around, you may find that you aren’t nearly as alone as you think. The key is not to want what you don’t have but to want what you do. Always looking around at what is missing puts blinders on what is right in front of your face.
# You only need oneI used to think life was about acquiring people. The more friends you have, the less lonely you are, right?
The truth is you only need one true friend in your life. When you have one person you can turn to, who always provides you with an honest opinion and stands by your side, you’ll feel like the luckiest person in the world. Stop looking for the big group and learn to appreciate the one standing when the party ends.
# Stop self-sabotagingThere are many times in life when we
self-sabotage. Due to past experiences and not wanting to be hurt or
disappointed, we set up scenarios in our life to go wrong. Creating our
own barriers and roadblocks, we do things inadvertently to be alone.
Since
losing someone feels more painful sometimes than being alone, we do
small things ensuring our relationships don’t work. Or we convince
ourselves they aren’t real or really working. Before assuming another
relationship is going wrong and headed for heartbreak, ask yourself, is
something honestly happening or is this just fabricated in your mind?
# Expectations determine outcomes
When
we experience failure, it isn’t uncommon to become negative or to
expect negative outcomes. The reason your relationships continue to fail
is because you expect them too. Always looking for the other shoe to
drop or a sign to cut and run, you set yourself up for heartbreak. Much
like self-sabotaging, negative thinking makes you feel forever alone
even in a supportive and loving relationship.