9 Most Common Marital Problems and How To Solve Them

By Thursday, you and your spouse have already had your third disagreement of the week. It’s becoming evident that marital issues are part of your relationship.

The topics of conflict can range from neglecting household chores, misunderstandings about social plans, to differing views on financial decisions.

During these frustrating and confusing times, one thing is clear: marital issues are an inevitable part of life together.

Despite fairy tale ideals, even Cinderella and Prince Charming likely encountered their own marital challenges after their ‘happily ever after.’

These tales remind us that 'marital issues' don’t signify a flawed relationship but rather reflect the intricate nature of human emotions and interactions.

Problems in marriage, from minor misunderstandings to major disagreements, are as natural as the sunrise.

These conflicts are not merely hurdles; they present opportunities for growth, understanding, and strengthening the bond with your partner.

# Poor Communication

In any marriage, effective communication acts as the oil that keeps the engine running smoothly. When this breaks down, minor misunderstandings can escalate into major marital issues. Often, poor communication stems from patterns learned in families or past relationships.

- Distraction-Free Conversations: Regularly set aside time for heart-to-heart talks. Turn off the TV, put away phones, and focus solely on each other.

- Active Listening: Truly listen to your partner, aiming to understand their perspective without immediately planning your response or defense.

- Couples Therapy: A therapist can provide tailored strategies to improve communication, helping break down walls and build bridges of understanding using techniques like ‘I’ statements to express feelings without blame.

# Sex and Intimacy

When the early, affectionate rituals fade into quick pecks on the cheek and a hurried “goodnight,” it’s clear that the honeymoon phase is over. As life’s responsibilities pile up, intimacy can take a back seat, leading to a growing sense of disconnection.

- Understand Love Languages: Learn each other’s love languages to express affection in ways that resonate with your partner, such as words of affirmation, acts of service, or quality time.

- Regular Date Nights: Maintain the spark with regular date nights, which help reconnect both emotionally and physically, reminiscent of your early days together.

- Therapy for Underlying Problems: Professional help might be necessary to address deeper issues affecting intimacy.

# Fights and Conflicts

Arguments are natural in any relationship, but when they become frequent and bitter, they signal underlying marital issues. Often, these fights are more about feeling misunderstood or undervalued than about the specific issues at hand.

- Establish Fair Fighting Rules: Create guidelines for arguments, such as no interrupting or dredging up the past, and take breaks if emotions run too high to keep discussions constructive.

- Seek to Understand, Not to Win: Approach conflicts with the goal of understanding your partner’s perspective rather than winning the argument, encouraging empathy and teamwork.

- Reflective Listening: Reflective listening shows your partner that you’re genuinely engaged, helping clarify what's been said and making them feel valued and heard.

- Couples Therapy: A therapist can offer tools for healthier conflict resolution, turning fights into opportunities for growth.

# Resentment

Resentment in a marriage often simmers beneath the surface due to unresolved problems, unmet needs, or feelings of being overlooked. This potent emotion can erode the trust and respect foundational to a relationship.

- Communication: Regularly discuss any feelings of resentment to work towards mutual understanding and prevent small grievances from becoming larger problems.

- Empathy and Validation: Acknowledge each other’s feelings and experiences, showing respect for their perspective even if you don’t agree.

- Seek Common Ground: Collaborate to find solutions that cater to both partners' needs, preventing resentment from taking root.

- Couples Counseling: Professional help can facilitate dialogue in a safe, neutral environment and provide strategies to move forward.

# Fidelity and Cheating

Infidelity is a significant issue that can lead to divorce, reflecting its devastating impact on a marriage. Trust and mutual respect are crucial, and rebuilding them after cheating demands deep commitment from both partners.

- Honest and Transparent Communication: Honest, transparent communication about the infidelity is crucial for rebuilding trust, requiring openness and commitment from both partners.

- Understanding the Underlying Problems: Infidelity often indicates deeper problems in the relationship. Addressing these underlying issues involves honest introspection and mutual effort to resolve the core issues.

- Professional Guidance: Counseling can be invaluable for navigating the complex emotions after infidelity, helping rebuild trust and strengthen the relationship.

# Division of Labor

Imbalanced household responsibilities can lead to frustration and resentment. One partner may feel overwhelmed by the bulk of home duties, especially if there are unspoken assumptions about who should handle which tasks.

- Open Discussion: Discuss household responsibilities by sharing which chores you enjoy or dislike, organizing tasks in a way that plays to each person’s strengths.

- Create a Shared Schedule: Draft a weekly or monthly schedule to allocate tasks fairly, reducing conflicts and ensuring both partners know their responsibilities.

- Show Appreciation: Acknowledge each other’s contributions to boost morale and strengthen your bond.

# Money Matters

Money is a major source of tension in marriages. Differences in spending habits and financial priorities can escalate into significant conflicts, making open financial discussions critical.

- Financial Planning Sessions: Regularly discuss your budget, savings goals, and spending habits, being honest about financial concerns and aspirations.

- Joint Budget: Work together to create a budget that respects both partners’ needs and goals, involving compromise and adjustments from both sides.

- Financial Advisor: An impartial expert’s advice can help align your financial paths and relieve pressure on the relationship.

# Feeling Taken for Granted

In the daily hustle, it’s easy to feel unappreciated, leading to resentment. Regularly showing appreciation for each other helps mitigate these feelings.

- Express Gratitude: Simple gestures of gratitude, like notes or verbal thanks, can lift spirits and strengthen your relationship.

- Recognize Efforts: Notice and acknowledge the small things your partner does, such as managing bills or cooking meals.

- Surprise Each Other: Occasional surprises or thoughtful acts remind your partner they are deeply valued, rekindling early feelings of joy and appreciation.

# Balancing Work and Home Life

Balancing work and home life can be challenging, especially if both partners have demanding schedules or one feels overburdened with household chores.

- Sync Your Schedules: Regular check-ins about workloads allow for adjustments in household responsibilities, fostering teamwork and support.

- Dedicate Quality Time: Carve out quality time for each other, planning simple activities to strengthen your bond and provide a break from daily routines.

- Personal Space: Allow personal space for individual activities to maintain well-being and bring renewed energy to the relationship.