5 Things You Must Clear Before Getting Into Long Term Commitment

Relationships are beautiful yet complicated part of any couple’s life. Either way, getting to know someone you’re attracted to and see a future with is a beautiful thing. If you are on the precipice and are considering going all the way with someone, it is best to get to know them better first.There are a couple of important conversations which you should have with your paramour before getting into a long term commitment with them.

* Family

Family may play a huge role in your life and when getting into a relationship, it may be difficult to balance the roles of being someone’s partner, in addition to your multiple roles in your own family. It’s important to discuss what your family means to you and the roles that they may or may not play in your life. If you have had past issues with family, it’s important to share with your partner any familial baggage and triggers from past ruptures which may risk disrupting your relationship. Getting a clear understanding of each other’s sensitivities can help foster better understanding and bonding.

* Money

This is one of the trickiest yet most important things to discuss. It’s extremely difficult to talk about money and we can often get extremely defensive when trying to discuss it. It’s important to understand each other’s money management, as well as each other’s expectations for shared expenses and future planning. Getting an understanding of ways in which you can support each other’s lifestyle financially as a couple is extremely important.

* Children

It is good to discuss the future and the potential desire to want to grow your family.This conversation will likely include whether or not you already have children, if you want children and how many. Discussing how you, as an individual, envision a family is important to identify whether and where the two of you stand on different approaches.

* Your definition of commitment

Surprising as it may be, the definition of commitment for two people, even in a relationship, can be different. One person may feel the ultimate level of commitment is changing their Facebook status, while the other may not feel they are committed until there are legal documents involved. It’s important to address how you view commitment and what it means to you. Discuss whether or not particular stages such as living together, engagement, and marriage are important to you and why.

* Sex and physical affection

Assume that your partner shows physical affection in the same way you do is probably the wrong stepping stone into a long term commitment. Everybody is different and have different intimacy needs. When the relationship is new, there are hardly any concerns about the sexual compatibility. However, it may be important to talk about expectations around sex as your relationship grows. It is important to do away with questions like “What does your ideal sex life look like in a long term relationship?” or “Are you comfortable if one of us initiates sex more than the other?” Get a hang of whether or not you are comfortable with connecting on a physical level.

* Personal goals

A lot of couples initially tend to just go with the flow. The concern arises later when they start feeling out of sync. Before you decide to hand your dating shoes, it makes sense to talk about the things that are important to you and the things you’re personally working towards so that you know both parties are on the same page. Your partner needs to understand what you are working towards so they can support you, not oppose you!

* Expectations

This is probably the elephant in the room when it comes to relationships. The expectations that either of the partners have from the other and from the relationship itself are hardly spoken about. They assume the other person has the same idea of balance/expectations and with these assumptions, conflict and hurt feelings tend to arise. It’s important that you talk about how you envision an equal partnership, or what that even means to you.