Life can be unpredictable at times, can't it? You may believe you have a clear understanding of everything, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, something happens to throw you off track – like when your ex starts dating someone new.
It leaves you questioning whether you ever truly had things figured out to begin with, leading to a cascade of endless inquiries and overthinking.
The issue is, regardless of how the relationship ended – whether it was on bad terms or amicably – it's natural to feel a bit strange when you discover that someone you spent significant time with is now investing that time in someone else. You might find yourself reminiscing about the good times and wishing things hadn't ended, but upon closer examination, you recognize that the breakup occurred for valid reasons.
Feeling unsettled upon hearing that your ex has moved on is perfectly normal.
Remember, they are your ex for a reason; it's a mantra worth keeping in mind. The relationship ended either due to specific events or an inherent incompatibility. If it had truly been wonderful and the positive memories outweighed any negatives, you would likely still be together.
Furthermore, if the relationship ended because of hurtful actions on either side, it's simply a part of life and a valid reason for the relationship's conclusion.
Don't fall into the trap of believing that your ex was the one that got away – they weren't. There were undoubtedly negative aspects to the relationship, and those negatives ultimately led to its demise. It's easy to start questioning your decisions and actions in retrospect, but those feelings will subside, and you'll see things more clearly with time.
These tumultuous emotions may cause panic, but it's important to stay calm and regain perspective. While the news of your ex dating someone new may initially stir up a whirlwind of feelings, they will eventually settle down again.
# Express Your EmotionsInstead of shouting it from the rooftops, find a way to express your feelings that minimizes harm to those around you. Whether it's shedding tears, confiding in close friends, or simply letting it out, allow yourself to acknowledge and process your emotions. Avoid masking your pain with a facade of composure; instead, allow yourself a moment to feel the sadness and come to terms with the situation before moving forward.
# Understand Your Ex Moving On Is NormalInitially, it may seem unfair that your ex has found someone new while you're still grappling with the breakup. However, it's important to recognize that part of moving on means having the freedom to explore new relationships. Everyone copes with breakups differently, and the three-month rule doesn't apply universally. Your ex's methods of moving on are their own affair, so focus on accepting that they've moved forward and empower yourself to do the same.
# Avoid Turning Healing into a CompetitionFollowing a breakup, there's often an unspoken competition to see who can find happiness first. However, fixating on being the first to move on can hinder your own healing process. Happiness manifests differently for each person, so prioritize your own well-being rather than attempting to mirror your ex's actions. Whether it's pursuing personal growth or investing in your career, focus on what brings you fulfillment rather than racing to outpace your ex.
# Remember Your Ex's ImperfectionsRecalling the flaws and reasons why the relationship didn't work out can help diminish feelings of jealousy towards your ex's new partner. Remind yourself that those quirks and issues are now someone else's concern, allowing you to release any resentment or envy.
# Avoid Comparisons with Their New PartnerResist the urge to view the new partner as competition or to make comparisons. Their presence in your ex's life doesn't invalidate your own worth or progress. Refrain from harboring resentment towards someone who likely has no knowledge of your existence. Recognize that your ex's new relationship is separate from your own journey, and focus on moving forward independently.
# Steer Clear of Places They Might FrequentAvoiding places where you know your ex and their new partner frequent can prevent unnecessary emotional turmoil. While the temptation to check in on them may arise, confronting the reality of seeing them together can be overwhelmingly painful. Protect your emotional well-being by giving yourself space from potentially triggering situations and allowing yourself time to heal away from reminders of the past.