20 Texting Do’s and Don’ts for the Beginning of a Relationship

Are you swept up in the excitement of early dating? It can feel uncertain, wondering if the other person shares your feelings. Fortunately, we have all the guidance you need to help establish healthy texting habits during these initial stages.

The early phase of dating is delicate because you're not officially a couple yet. Naturally, you want the person to like you and want to be with you, so it's important to maintain a balance and let things flow naturally.

It's easy to get caught up in emotions and enthusiasm. By following these tips, you'll be able to text with confidence and avoid overthinking.

How often to text can be a tricky question since it varies based on personality. Some people love texting, while others aren't as fond of it. When one person enjoys texting and the other doesn't, it can create challenges.

However, as a general rule, you should text often enough to show your interest. If you wait too long between messages, the other person may start to question your interest. To avoid this, it's a good idea to check in daily and let the conversation evolve naturally.

# Take a Deep Breath

Yes, you’re excited about this person, but relax. Take a few deep breaths to stay calm. If you get too worked up, you might over analyze every message.

Remember, they’re human, not someone to be placed on a pedestal. If they don’t feel the same way, that’s okay—there’s someone else out there who will.

# Don’t Over-Text

It’s fun to chat all day, but don’t forget you have a life beyond your phone. Being too available may come off as needy. Show them you have other things going on besides texting.

# Texting Shouldn’t Replace Face-to-Face Interaction

Early dating is about spending quality time together in person, not just texting. Use texts to plan meetups, not as a substitute for getting to know each other in real life.

# Don’t Overthink Your Messages

Of course, you want to come across as funny and smart, but don’t second-guess every word. Send messages that are honest and true to you without worrying too much.

# Both of You Should Start Conversations

If you’re always the one initiating texts, it’s not a great sign. A healthy texting dynamic should feel mutual. If you’re the only one putting in effort, consider stepping back.

# Reply When It’s Convenient

You don’t have to be glued to your phone. If you’re busy at work or school, respond when you have time. Don’t compromise your priorities for the sake of texting.

# Use Proper Grammar

It might seem trivial, but good grammar matters. Occasional typos are fine, but consistently poor grammar can be a turn-off. Make your texts easy to read.

# Know When to End the Conversation

You don’t need to keep the conversation going all day. If it’s winding down, let it end naturally. You can always pick it back up later.

# Be Mindful of Your Tone

Sarcasm and dry humor can sometimes get lost over text. Use emojis if needed to help convey your tone clearly, and make sure your message comes across the way you intend.

# Save Important Conversations for In-Person

Certain topics are better discussed face-to-face, where you can see their reactions and engage more fully. Don’t rely on text for deeper conversations.

# Move Beyond Texting

Eventually, move past just texting and have actual phone conversations. Hearing each other’s voices adds a new level of connection that texting alone can’t provide.

# Avoid Sending Just ‘Hi’

A simple “hi” is too generic and lacks effort. Instead, start with a thoughtful question or comment to keep the conversation engaging.

# Steer Clear of Sexting

It’s tempting, but don’t rush into sexting early on. Wait until you’re in a committed relationship and both feel comfortable with that level of intimacy.

# Ask Open-Ended Questions

Keep conversations going by asking questions that invite more than a one-word response. This helps create more meaningful exchanges.

# Be Consistent

Don’t text non-stop one day and then disappear for a few days. Consistency in communication is key to keeping things on track.

# Don’t Assume They Can Read Your Mind

Texting lacks non-verbal cues, so it’s easy to misunderstand. Be clear and specific in your messages to avoid confusion.

# Have Your Own Life

Don’t sit around waiting for a text. Stay busy and engaged in your own life. If you’re too available, it might send the wrong message.

# Avoid Playing Games

Don’t play mind games to gain the upper hand. Trying to make someone jealous or deliberately delaying responses only creates unnecessary tension.

# Be Authentic

Instead of playing games, just be yourself. Speak honestly and don’t feel pressured to put on a front. The goal is for them to get to know the real you.

# Show Your Interest

You don’t need to play hard to get. It’s okay to let them know you’re interested. Compliment them or express excitement about seeing them again—it helps keep the connection strong.