Losing contact with grandchildren can bring up a stew of emotions. Sorting out how you feel and developing strategies for dealing with your emotions is vital for your mental and physical health.
You will feel grief as long as the separation lasts, but here are some strategies for coping that might help lessen the emotional toll.
* Shock and Anger If the separation from your grandchildren occurred suddenly, you might initially be shocked. If there was a history of conflict, you might still be shocked that your grandchild's parents were willing to take such a drastic step.
* Confusion and Frustration
If grandparents feel that they have been denied contact with their grandchildren arbitrarily or through no fault of their own, it can lead to confusion and frustration.
When trying to figure out the cause, there are two possibilities grandparents should consider. In some cases, a grandparent might be guilty of an error in judgment and the parents are rightfully concerned.
In other scenarios, the punishment that the parents are handing out might have little (or nothing) to do with the grandparent's behavior or actions.
* Helplessness and Hopelessness
If you have tried to work out the conflict with the parents of your grandchildren and nothing has worked, you may feel helpless and hopeless.
* Envy and Jealousy
You may feel envy and jealousy toward other grandparents (especially your friends) who are able to be with their grandchildren. These emotions can be especially strong if your grandchildren's other grandparents are still allowed to see them.
* Guilt and GriefIf it is your own child engaging in this hurtful behavior, you may wonder where your own parenting went wrong and might even feel like a failure.
You will also experience grief. However, unlike the grief associated with death, the grief you are feeling may not have a resolution or sense of closure.