Here is What To Say on a First Date

First dates are the room temperature coffee of the dating world. But knowing what to say on a first date can make them a whole lot easier. Going on a first date is like walking into the unknown. You want it to be light and fun, but don’t want to fall into the friend zone. You also want it to be flirtatious, but not uncomfortable. So, what to say on a first date to find that happy medium?

Do you talk about politics and religion? What about your family or your exes? Not all of these will work for everyone. There is no secret formula for the perfect first date conversation. There are some topics and things you can say to make the awkward moments less awkward. So pick and choose what catches your fancy, and take it from there.

# Remember your manners

This may be common sense for many people, but forgetting to say the magic words 'please and thank you' can really turn someone off. Whether you say thank you to your date for holding the door or your waiter or bartender, politeness goes a long way.

It is nice to see your date being respectful to service workers, even by simply saying thank you for bringing your food. When someone is rude to a waiter, it shows their true colors and can be a major red flag. So mind your manners, even when you’re not on a date.

# Compliment their passion

On a first date, chatting about your jobs is pretty normal. And although you don’t want that to overtake the conversation, throw in a compliment or two. Your date will appreciate that you are actually listening to them talk about what could be a job that makes no sense to you.

Saying something like, 'Wow, it must take a lot of dedication to be in that position,' or 'I can tell you're passionate about it because your face just lights up when you talk about it.' These comments show that you’re in tune with them and appreciate what they do.

# Share a funny story

Having a go-to anecdote is perfect for a first date. Whether you use it to fill an awkward silence or throw it into the conversation naturally, laughing always helps a date go better. And connecting over a shared sense of humor is something we all want.

Whether it is an embarrassing moment that shows you can laugh at yourself or an awful first date you’ve had before, this could help break the ice.

# Bring up your deal breakers

This is totally personal preference and depends whether you feel comfortable or not. In my opinion, when it comes to knowing what to say on a first date, throwing your deal breakers out there from the start is useful, especially if you want a serious relationship. If you just want to have fun and aren’t too serious, you can skip these.

Some would say to avoid topics like politics and religion, but if you know you could never date a Republican or someone that didn’t believe in God, bring it up. Why avoid what will come out eventually? All that will do is make it more difficult to end things later on.

# Say something nice about your family

Obviously if you have a strained family life, this may be something you want to wait on until later. But family values are important to a lot of people. Simply talking about how you’re close with your parents or talk to your siblings daily can show your date that family is important to you.

And the same goes for their family. If they bring up their parents, siblings, cousins, or what have you, let them know that means something to you. Make sure they know that family is also a priority for you.

# Ask about their past

You can go serious or deep with this question. You can even make it more fun. Talk about having braces as a teen, where they shopped during their awkward stage, and even bring up nostalgic topics like cartoons and 90s candy. This way you bond over something lighthearted.

# Talk about pop culture

Now whether this is the Kardashian’s latest drama or the newest Netflix release, this shows what you have in common. It is one thing if you both love traveling or hiking, but 9 times out of 10 you’re at home. So knowing you share some downtime hobbies is always nice.

Even chatting about your favorite shows or celebrity crush are fun topics that keep the pressure off.

# Bring up future date ideas

Obviously this is only something you want to say on a first date if you want a second date, but if you do, bring up some ideas. Mention a restaurant you’ve been dying to try. If they love a specific actor, offer to take them to their next movie.

This can be less nerve-racking than straight up asking for a second date. It also keeps the conversation flowing and feels natural.