Kissing is a beautiful expression of love, passion, and connection. However, not all kisses are created equal, and some can turn into cringe-worthy experiences that we'd rather forget. From slobbery messes to awkward techniques, there are certain types of kisses that should be avoided at all costs. In this article, we will explore 15 horrifying kisses that can quickly turn a romantic moment into an uncomfortable ordeal. Whether you're a seasoned kisser or just starting out, knowing what to avoid will help you navigate the world of kisses with confidence and ensure your smooching experiences are nothing short of delightful. So, let's dive into these kiss-killing techniques and learn how to steer clear of them for a more enjoyable and memorable kissing journey!
# Wide-open-mouth kissWhen faced with a wide-open-mouth kisser, you can't help but wonder if they have any clue about proper kissing etiquette. They dive in with gusto, barely giving you a chance to catch your breath. It's as if they believe kissing involves vigorously moving their head around in circles, completely missing the mark on what makes a great kiss.
# Closed mouth kissIf you receive a closed-mouth kiss from your partner, it can be incredibly frustrating. They keep their lips tightly shut, giving off the impression that they're either disgusted with the act of kissing or simply uninterested in kissing you at all.
# The constant pecking kissPicture a bird, pecking away at your face. That's exactly what it feels like when you encounter a constant pecker. Instead of indulging in a sensual kiss, they approach it with an awkward and unsexy pecking motion that leaves you longing for a more passionate connection.
# Slobber kissPrepare yourself for the onslaught of excessive saliva if you encounter a slobber kisser. They seem to have an endless supply of spit that they generously spread all over your face. It's far from a pleasant and seductive experience. In fact, it leaves you feeling damp and in dire need of a towel to wipe off the slimy trails before making a quick escape.
# Too aggressive biting kiss
Biting can add a hint of excitement to a kiss, but when it goes too far and results in bleeding and swollen lips, it's time to reconsider your partner's kissing style. If you feel like you've been attacked by a wild animal after a kiss, it's essential to either educate this person on proper kissing techniques or make it clear that you want to keep your distance
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# Excessive tongue-sucking kissTongue sucking can be a tantalizing and passionate move, but only within certain boundaries. When your partner takes it to the extreme by aggressively sucking on your tongue, resembling a baby or an animal desperately seeking sustenance, it becomes uncomfortable and strange. This type of kiss focuses more on tasting your tongue rather than providing mutual pleasure, leading to questions about their preferences or potential tongue fetish.
# Limp tongue kissWhile some kisses can send shivers down your spine, others are simply uninspiring. Enter the limp-tongue kiss. Picture yourself in a passionate moment, only to encounter a partner whose tongue remains lifeless and unresponsive. It's like kissing a motionless fish, leaving you perplexed and questioning whether they are unwell. Sadly, you may find yourself deciding never to see this person again due to their lackluster kissing technique.
# Bad breath kissFew things can be as off-putting as engaging in a kiss with someone who has unpleasant breath. Even if they rank high on your list of potential partners, foul-smelling breath is a deal-breaker. It's important to kindly offer them mints as a subtle hint for them to freshen their breath, not only for your sake but also for the benefit of anyone else they might share kisses with.
# Overly invasive ear kissThe ears possess incredible sensitivity and can be a source of intense pleasure. A whisper, a gentle touch, or a soft kiss on the ear can be incredibly arousing. However, some individuals take it too far. If your partner's slithering tongue explores the depths of your ear, reminiscent of a thick, slimy Q-tip invading your ear canal, it's crucial to push them away and communicate your boundaries, firmly suggesting they refrain from such invasive actions.
# Up-the-nose kissThe up-the-nose-kisser reminds you of an eager puppy that you left at home. When you finally get home, they jump all over you and kiss you all over. Like a puppy, this kisser just can’t get enough of you. Their mouth is all up in your mouth—in fact, over it and to your nose. What are they thinking???
# Googly-eyed kissWhen you watch romantic movies, and the actors have their eyes closed as they lean in to touch lips, you begin to think that all kisses you’ll have will be like that—until you meet the googly-eyed kisser. This type keeps their eyes open the whole time you kiss. If you happen to glance at them in the middle of kissing, don’t be surprised if you feel like you’re being doused with cold water. There’s nothing sexy or romantic about someone who goes cross-eyed while you kiss.
# The far-too-aggressive kissThis is simply a painful kiss. When you lean in suddenly for an impassioned kiss, but you end up bashing teeth, causing you to hurt your gums and chip a tooth, you’ve experienced this kiss. There might be a time that one or both of you might bleed, but you still continue to kiss each other, anyway, and you taste blood mixed with each other’s saliva. If your partner kisses like this, run and don’t look back!
# All over the face kissThis kisser will kiss you everywhere—except your lips. When you kiss this kisser, it may feel like they’re going to eat your face—your cheek, your chin, your cheekbones—whatever. You might even be scared they’ll lick your eyeballs out.
# The sick kissThis kiss is a somewhat forgivable kiss but is, nevertheless, disgusting. This is when your partner is sick with the sniffles and you offer a soft peck to make them feel better, but they sneeze all over your face. You get bonus points when you get gooey mucus on your face. Ain’t love grand?
# Food residue kissSo, you had a fancy dinner with filet mignon and fine wine. You’re happy you got your ideal date in a fancy place—until you kiss, that is. This type of kisser should think about brushing their teeth and flossing before coming at you. This is because, as you kiss, some of the filet mignon they ate goes to you. The disgusting part is, you might be forced to swallow it and then hate yourself for it afterward. Eek!