Most people remember the honeymoon phase of their relationship—intense, passionate, and exciting. While those feelings may still exist, it's common for couples to sometimes forget to show each other the affection and attention they once did. This is a natural part of any relationship, which is why it's important to know how to express your need for more attention to your boyfriend.
Life can easily become consumed by work, school, or family responsibilities, leaving little time for your partner. We often assume our partners know we love them, but they might not always feel it.
Although everyone's needs are unique, the main reason women seek more attention in their relationships is often because their emotional needs aren't being fully met.
Some men can be more focused on their own interests, whether it's playing video games, hanging out with friends, or engaging in hobbies like fishing or hunting—activities that may take time and attention away from their partner.
It's no secret that women tend to be more emotionally expressive and affectionate, which might sometimes feel overwhelming for their boyfriend. But that doesn't make either person wrong—it simply means your needs and expectations in the relationship are different.
Rather than assigning blame, it's important to acknowledge that we all get comfortable in relationships and may start to put less effort into nurturing them. You might be feeling that now.
You likely have a great relationship but are sensing a lack of affection. This is normal, and the key is to communicate your feelings and work together to ensure both of your needs are met.
# Speak Up DirectlyDropping subtle hints to let your boyfriend know you need more attention is likely a waste of time. Be clear and upfront. The only way he’ll understand your needs is if you have an open conversation. Share how you’ve been feeling and what you need from him.
# Recognize How You Both Show LoveYour boyfriend might already be showing you affection, just in a way that differs from your love language. For example, he may cook a meal or buy you a gift as his way of showing love, while you prefer physical touch and verbal affirmations. It's important to recognize these differences.
# Lead by ExampleIf you want more attention, set the tone by showing what you need. If you want more cuddles, start by cuddling with him on the couch. Want him to hold your hand in public? Make the first move. By leading, you demonstrate the affection you're seeking.
# Start Flirting AgainReignite the playful side of your relationship by flirting with your boyfriend. Bring back the fun and excitement from the early days of your relationship. Light-hearted moments like cuddling in bed or sharing a joke can help strengthen your bond.
# Trust Your FeelingsDon’t doubt your emotions. If you feel like you’re not receiving enough attention, that’s valid. Some people get plenty of attention but feel insecure, while others genuinely aren’t getting enough. Take the time to understand where your feelings stem from.
# Understand His PerspectiveWhen you talk about your need for more attention, listen to his perspective as well. He may be going through stress or feel his own needs aren’t being met. This doesn’t excuse a lack of attention, but it helps you understand where he’s coming from.
# Give Him TimeAfter discussing your needs, give him time to process and make changes. He might need some space to figure out how to respond and what he feels comfortable doing. Patience is key.
# Don’t Become His MotherIt’s important to avoid constantly nagging him about being more attentive. If he’s going to change, he needs to do it on his own. If you find yourself always taking care of household tasks, it might be time to step back from playing the role of a second mother.
# Ask About His NeedsRemember, it’s a two-way street. While you might be focused on your own needs, it’s crucial to ask if his needs are being met too. He might feel neglected or resentful, which could explain the lack of attention. Check in with him to ensure both of you are fulfilled.