The relationship between a father and a son is a special yet a complex one. More often than not, fathers hope that their son would be a reflection of them. The relationship tends to become more complicated through the years as the son grows up and begins to foster an individuality of his own. Fathers find it increasingly difficult to be able to relate to their sons when they don’t share any common interests. Sometimes, the relationship can even become competitive. On the other hand, as children grow up, there tends to be an increasing gap in communication which makes matters worse.
In almost all the families, although,both the father and the son would like to better the relationship, none of the two seem to be in a position to know how to go about changing things for the better. If you are one of the people stuck with the dilemma, here are a couple of things that can help you foster a great father-son relationship:
Recognize that sons are influenced by their fathersWhether we know it or not, sons learn about being a man primarily by watching their fathers. A father's influence on his son's personal development is often unseen but nonetheless real.The way you deal with others in your life influences the way your son would interact and deal with people in his life. Understanding that a father's influence on his son is unmatched will help dad think more deeply about his relationship with his son and take that relationship more seriously.
Develop common interestsWhether you are more into sports and outdoor activities while your son takes keen interest in books and things he can do within the comfort of home, or vice versa; it is important to make efforts to find a common ground. There is bound to be one thing or the other which you both are equally interested in and can spend time doing together. When you maximize your time together and spend time together doing something you both enjoy, your relationship will grow.
Don't be afraid of a little boisterous playYoung boys tend to love anything that is active and rough. A little wrestling in the backyard will go a long way. It seems like with many boys, this little bit of wild behaviour is a bonding experience.You have to keep them safe, but you can take some very small and calculated risks to give them a more physical experience.
Get involved in father-son activities
There are multiple options of hobbies which you can choose from to indulge your sons into. You can try your hands at activities which you can do together and you can both be involved in. These structured experiences create opportunities to grow closer.
Take on a big projectThere is something magical to a boy about being involved in something bigger than himself. You can take on some long term projects like building a go-kart or a tree house. These projects will not only help you inculcate some skills in your son, but also help you bond better.
Listen to your sonsMen seem in general to struggle with effective communication. That is why it is all the more important for you to be able to create a safe environment where your son feels like sharing and communicating.
Don't be afraid of the big talkTake the time to teach your sons about sex and relationships. Being open to having these conversations will help your sons develop better attitudes about sex and romantic partners in general.With the ever-increasing presence of sex in the media, on the computer and in conversations with their friends, you will find your relationship not as strong as it could be if you avoid talking about these difficult subjects and let them develop their attitudes about sex and relationships from other sources who may not share your values.
Focus on the positivesChildren are bombarded with negative messages all around them which can badly affect their morale. It is important to make efforts to create positive ways to celebrate their accomplishments. Feeding them constant reinforcement will help build relationships of trust and overcome this constant barrage of negativism that they confront daily.
Make one-on-one timeIt is important to make time for individual relationships with each child. So make sure that you program some one on one time with your sons. This will not only show them that you care but also boost their confidence in your relationship
Focus on the spiritualHelping a son be grounded spiritually is an important role for a father. Whatever your faith tradition, help your son understand the deeper meaning of life. If you don't have a faith tradition, help him reach for his inner self and try to have a perspective that will help him look at things deeper than on the surface.