Most couples aspire to achieve a sense of unity in their marriage at some point, which can bring about a remarkable synergy and sweetness to the relationship. The good news is that working towards this marital oneness is always an option.
Marital harmony is truly splendid. To grasp the profound contentment and joy it brings, one need only observe some of the longest-lasting couples they know, who, despite aging, still prioritize each other's companionship above all else.
This illustrates the remarkable power of marital oneness. When a couple reaches this state, everything else in life seems to flow more smoothly. However, the challenge lies in not knowing how to attain this level of unity. Fortunately, by the end of this article, you will uncover the steps to cultivate oneness in your marriage.
The term oneness in marriage conjures various images, with many envisioning couples who are inseparable. However, this may not be an entirely accurate representation.
In the context of marriage, oneness is achieved when partners establish profound intimacy and connection within themselves. They trust each other, believe in their shared dreams, and devote their time and attention to working together to achieve their identified goals and aspirations.
Oneness in marriage is a concept that finds strong acceptance in the Christian faith, as it emphasizes that both spouses should foster a deep connection with each other and with God for true unity to flourish in the marriage. The clearest indication of marital unity can be observed in the way both partners function. Despite their differences, they exhibit a synchronized alignment in their intentions and actions, always returning to the path they have charted together.
Ultimately, oneness in marriage is about fulfilling a purpose believed to be God-given.
# Ensure you have similar valuesWhile this doesn't imply that you'll automatically share all your partner's preferences, aligning your values can be a key factor in fostering unity within your marriage. Take a moment to consider this.
Imagine you highly value family connections, whereas your partner can go for extended periods without interacting with their family due to their intense focus on work. One of the challenges you'll encounter is finding a middle ground where your values can converge.
As you make plans for a family weekend getaway, they might be preoccupied with their work-related goals and plans. Even if they agree to join in, they may struggle to fully engage in the getaway.
And what's the point of a getaway if your partner can't devote their undivided attention to it?
Your values are a fundamental part of who you are. If you aim to achieve marital unity, it's essential to seek a partner who shares the same or similar values. Trying to maintain a relationship with someone who habitually lies when you have a strong aversion to dishonesty is likely to lead to significant challenges and unhappiness.
# Plan to spend time with your spouse; aloneIt's common to include your children when planning a vacation, but often, you may find yourself tempted to bring work along, even on special trips with your spouse. However, if you aim to achieve marital unity, this shouldn't be the case.
Occasionally, the most effective way to reignite the spark in your marriage and reinforce the bond between you and your spouse is to organize a getaway exclusively for the two of you.
Your children aren't invited on this excursion. Work-related tasks are off-limits as well. Relatives should not even contemplate joining you. Moreover, you have the flexibility to decide how long you want to stay.
During these trips, your primary objective is to reconnect with your spouse. Communication should be the focal point as you work on relearning how to have meaningful conversations, actively listen to each other, and even interpret unspoken cues (because you've trained yourself to understand each other's body language).
# Focus on making your partner happy This represents another approach to achieving marital unity. There is often a natural inclination to concentrate on your own goals, ambitions, and priorities, sometimes overlooking the fact that your spouse is an individual with their own desires and aspirations.
When you prioritize your partner's happiness through the practice of compromise, it encourages them to open up to you. When they are confident that you have their best interests at heart, they will make every effort to maintain the happiness of your marriage and relationship.
If you are with a considerate spouse, they will undoubtedly reciprocate, forming the foundation for a robust and thriving marriage.
While we have already addressed the importance of shared values, it's essential to avoid being overly rigid about what you believe you deserve. Compromise is an indispensable component of any successful marriage.
# Intimate communication This surpasses the mere routine of inquiring about your spouse's day upon their return from work or offering occasional words of affection. Intimate communication represents a vital pathway to achieving even spiritual unity within a marriage.
Intimate communication involves the process of lowering your emotional barriers and granting your partner access to your most profound sentiments, even those you may not take pride in.
When intimate communication takes place, fear of judgment dissipates because you understand that you are conversing with someone who always has your best interests at heart, regardless of any challenges.
One of the primary reasons many couples fall short of achieving marital unity is the presence of concealed secrets that drive a wedge between them. When they endeavor to connect, these secrets often become the root cause of ineffective communication, leading to disconnection.
Your spouse should be the one person you are unafraid to welcome into every aspect of your life. When you're feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed, sad, or upset, you should feel comfortable sharing these emotions with them.
Moreover, investing this level of trust in your partner fosters a reciprocal desire for them to do the same for you. Consequently, you'll notice a ripple effect where your partner becomes increasingly open with you.
Beyond providing an outlet to express your fears and frustrations to your spouse, intimate communication helps establish a profound and enduring connection with them. This, in turn, fosters the development of marital unity.
# Forgive your spouseThere's a well-known saying that goes, To err is human, but to forgive is divine. One area where you should truly embrace this saying as a guiding principle in your life is within the context of marriage.
It's natural for your partner to occasionally get on your nerves, and at times, they may even annoy or irritate you. However, what truly matters is your willingness to leave the past in the past.
Forgiveness is of paramount importance when dealing with human beings, as we all have our unique wiring. The same principle applies to your marriage. If you aspire to cultivate a joyful marriage characterized by unity with your spouse, it's crucial to be ready to forgive them, just as they should be willing to forgive you in return.
Holding onto grudges against your spouse is incompatible with achieving harmony in your marriage and family life.
Forgiveness can sometimes be easier said than done, particularly when you've been deeply hurt. However, dedicating time and effort to moving beyond that hurt can help you heal. Furthermore, if you practice spirituality, you may find solace in the belief that certain wounds can be healed through your faith.
Practicing mindfulness is another approach that can assist in replacing negative emotions with gratitude. Over time, this gratitude can evolve into forgiveness.
Always remember that harboring anger or bitterness towards your spouse is an obstacle to achieving oneness in marriage. It's essential to take the necessary time to heal and release those negative emotions.