10 Do's and Don'ts in a Relationship Argument

Arguments in relationships are often unavoidable for most couples. While there are a few lucky pairs who rarely disagree and seem to understand each other effortlessly, the majority of us experience occasional misunderstandings or minor conflicts.

Having an argument with your partner doesn’t mean you're a poor match or that your relationship is flawed. Rather, how you handle the resolution of these disagreements can play a pivotal role in shaping your connection. It can either strengthen your bond or strain it.

Though you may not always be able to prevent arguments, you do have control over how you respond to them. Choosing to avoid arguments and opting for open communication can have a positive impact on your mental well-being, peace, and productivity.

Unresolved, toxic arguments can drive a wedge between partners, creating a barrier of tension and discomfort. If not handled properly, conflicts can lead to ongoing issues, turning into ego battles where neither person wants to back down, fearing it might make them appear weak in the relationship.

However, arguments don’t have to harm your relationship. In fact, when managed well, they can bring you closer and help prevent future misunderstandings.

# Don’t Stay Silent

When your partner confronts you or seeks an answer, don’t ignore them or remain quiet as if they don’t deserve a response. Many people tend to withdraw when faced with confrontation, but this only creates distance.

Ignoring them may seem like a way to diffuse tension, but it often has the opposite effect. Staying silent builds an emotional barrier between you and your partner, making it harder to reconnect.

# Don’t Get Physical

Resorting to physical actions often means there’s nothing left to say in defense, and instead of accepting responsibility, you respond physically to exert control. Avoid this at all costs.

Physical aggression is a clear indicator of a toxic relationship. There are healthier ways to handle conflicts, and recognizing this can help you avoid crossing a line that could irreparably harm your relationship.

# Don’t Attack Them When They’re Vulnerable

Avoid saying deeply hurtful things that aren’t even relevant to the argument just to shut them down.

Statements like, “You’re a loser who can’t keep a job. No one likes you, and you’re miserable” aren’t just hurtful—they’re damaging. Harsh words linger, so think before you speak.

# Don’t Make Threats

Refrain from saying you’re leaving or threatening a breakup in the heat of an argument. Whether you mean it or not, bringing up such a sensitive issue mid-fight can damage trust.

Threatening to end the relationship isn’t a healthy solution to conflict. Often, such thoughts are fueled by anger rather than genuine intention.

# Don’t Use Profanity

Avoid verbally abusing or swearing at your partner just to emphasize your point. It only adds fuel to the fire, making your partner more upset and causing lasting harm.

If you’re striving for a constructive conversation, keep your language respectful. This helps foster understanding rather than escalating anger.

# Be Honest

The foundation of resolving any conflict is honesty. Be upfront about why you’re upset, and talk openly with your partner about your feelings.

If you’re unsure of the source of your frustration, tell your partner that you’re still trying to figure it out. Open communication starts with honesty, so don’t withhold your emotions.

# Make an Effort to Communicate

Consider why you’re arguing in the first place—it’s likely to resolve confusion or a misunderstanding. Instead of trying to hurt your partner, communicate your perspective clearly so they can better understand your needs or concerns.

Without open communication, conflicts only build up over time, ultimately risking the health of your relationship.

# Try to Calm Down

It’s challenging to think clearly in the heat of an argument, but allowing yourself to calm down can prevent impulsive reactions you might regret later.

If anger overwhelms you, take a moment to step away or sit in silence until you’re ready to discuss things calmly and respectfully.

# Apologize When Necessary

If you recognize that you were in the wrong, don’t let pride prevent you from apologizing. Your partner will appreciate your honesty and sincerity.

Even if you were right, acknowledge any actions or words that may have been too harsh. An apology fosters mutual respect and humility, helping to avoid ego conflicts.

# Make Up After a Fight

No matter how angry or upset you feel, always take time to reconnect after a fight. Walk over to your partner, embrace them, and let them know that your love remains strong.

A heartfelt hug can remind both of you that your love is greater than any disagreement.