9 Red Flags and Signs of Deflection in a Relationship

Imagine a young couple, Emily and Alex, engrossed in one of those familiar lively debates. Emily, arms crossed, inquired, Alex, why didn't you inform me about your outing last night? Without hesitation, Alex responded, Have you checked out this amusing cat video? It's performing backflips! A classic instance of deflection in a relationship!

For those pondering whether Alex possesses an unusual fondness for agile cats, let's delve into some psychology. Simply put, deflection is a defense mechanism where individuals, much like our friend Alex, divert attention away from themselves.

Why? To adeptly sidestep the minefield of confrontation or accountability.

Therefore, the next time someone skillfully maneuvers away from a topic like a cat chasing a laser pointer, you may be witnessing a deflection maestro in action!

# Accountability Evasion

Ah, the age-old dance of this isn't about me. One moment, the discussion revolves around their forgotten call, and the next, it's a narrative about that one instance when YOU misplaced the car keys. In relationships, deflection often manifests as blame shifting, directing the spotlight away from oneself.

# Conversation Pivoting

Envision a conversation about a missed anniversary morphing into a heated debate about laundry. It's not a figment of your imagination; it's the skillful art of topic hopping, smoothly changing the subject to avoid facing responsibility.

# Victim Card Play

Ever sensed the need to tread carefully, offering constructive feedback only to be met with the You always target me! show? Playing the victim card allows the deflector to reshape the narrative in their favor.

# Sarcasm Overdrive

While sarcasm can be entertaining, it loses its charm when every genuine concern is met with a sarcastic remark. This type of deflection introduces an unamusing form of humor into a relationship, constructing barriers instead of bridges.

# Gaslighting

A heavyweight champion in deflection tactics, gaslighting involves statements like You're just imagining things or You're too sensitive. It goes beyond mere deflection, making the other person question their own reality and causing potential harm to trust and self-confidence in the relationship.

# Affection as a Diversion

Ever found a disagreement interrupted by a surprise gift? While gestures of love are wonderful, using them to divert attention from serious discussions is deflection in its sweetest guise.

# Excessive Explanation

Over-explaining serves as a subtle yet effective diversion tactic. By inundating the conversation with unnecessary details, the deflector can skillfully divert attention from the main topic. This influx of information, often irrelevant to the core issue, acts as a smokescreen, hindering clarity and complicating the resolution of relationship issues.

# Aversion of Eye Contact

If, during a sensitive discussion, their sudden fascination lies with their shoes or the ceiling, it might be a subtle indication of deflection. Their eyes seem to say, If I don't acknowledge the issue, it doesn't exist.

# Instant Counter-Attack

Immediate counter-attack is a rapid-response mechanism where, when confronted, the individual swiftly shifts the focus by highlighting the other person's flaws or past mistakes. This knee-jerk reaction deflects attention from them, placing the spotlight on you and steering the conversation away from their own accountability.