Attraction is a funny thing. Some people are into tall, dark, and handsome, some people have a soft spot for blondes, and some people (sapiosexual) are attracted to intelligence. In an age where everything is about instant gratification, Tinder hookups, and internet dating sites, finding someone “real” is becoming increasingly difficult.
Is the notion of sapiosexual merely a thing of the past, or is an attraction to intelligence just as strong and flourishing today?
What is Sapiosexual and what does it mean to be attracted to intelligence?Sapiosexual means you fall in love with someone for something other than the way that they look or the external beauty they display to the world. But it isn’t just about falling in love with their intelligence.
It is about finding a connection with someone that goes beyond the physical and is in the realm of the real. Sapiosexual relationships have things to offer besides something fun to look at.
There are still some of us who find that love is truly more than skin deep. Loving someone for their wit, charm, or even intelligence is a special quality. Do you have it?
How common is sapiosexuality?According to a research study carried out by the University of Western Australia, approximately 8% of individuals aged between 18 to 35 identify as sapiosexuals. Interestingly, the attraction to intelligence is on the rise among individuals aged 30 to 45 who are active on dating sites and apps. For a significant number of people, intelligence plays a pivotal role in their sexual attraction. The presence of intelligence in men and women ignites a sense of arousal as it transcends the realm of superficiality, taking individuals on a journey of profound connection. Intelligence is often associated with positive qualities such as making wise decisions, displaying respect, and demonstrating empathy – all of which are highly desirable traits in a partner.
How sapiosexuality works in relationshipsPeople who are sapiosexuals usually find themselves in relationships with people who have a similar orientation. These types of couples often enjoy intellectual activity as an integral part of emotional bonding or even physical foreplay. Here's how sapiosexuality can work in relationships:
Attracted to Intelligence: Sapiosexual individuals are primarily drawn to partners with sharp minds and a passion for knowledge. Intellectual conversations and mental challenges play a significant role in fostering attraction.
Valuing Meaningful Conversations: Sapiosexual relationships highly prioritize deep and meaningful conversations. Partners enjoy discussing diverse topics, exchanging ideas, and gaining insights from each other's perspectives.
Intertwining Emotional Intimacy: Sapiosexual attraction often intertwines with emotional intimacy. Understanding and connecting on an intellectual level can lead to a deeper emotional bond and a sense of shared values and goals.
Strengthened by Shared Interests: Intellectual compatibility in sapiosexual relationships leads to shared interests like reading, philosophical discussions, attending lectures, or exploring new ideas together. These shared activities strengthen the bond between partners.
Deep Respect for Intelligence: Sapiosexual individuals deeply respect and admire their partner's intelligence. This appreciation fosters admiration for each other's minds and thought processes.
Encouraging Growth and Learning: Sapiosexual relationships inspire personal growth and continuous learning. Partners motivate each other to expand their knowledge and explore new areas of interest.
Valuing Emotional Intelligence: Emotional intelligence is highly valued in sapiosexual relationships. Understanding and empathizing with each other's feelings create a harmonious and supportive partnership.
Prioritizing Intellectual Connection: While physical attraction is not disregarded, sapiosexual individuals prioritize intellectual connection over superficial appearance. They find beauty in the depth of their partner's mind.
Essential Intellectual Compatibility: Intellectual compatibility is vital for long-term satisfaction in a sapiosexual relationship. Partners should comfortably engage in discussions and share ideas.
Building Trust and Vulnerability: Intellectual attraction fosters a sense of safety and trust between sapiosexual partners. They feel at ease being vulnerable and sharing thoughts and ideas without fear of judgment.
Forming Lasting Bonds: Sapiosexual relationships tend to build strong, long-lasting bonds based on shared interests, intellectual connection, and emotional intimacy.
Are you a sapiosexual?Sapiosexual individuals openly acknowledge their strong attraction to intelligence, finding it a significant factor in forming connections with others. For them, a person's intellect takes precedence over other qualities, considering it the primary aspect of attraction.
The reasons behind sapiosexuals finding intelligent individuals alluring vary, depending on how they perceive intelligence. Some seek out highly intelligent individuals working in scientific fields, while others are drawn to those who are well-read, eloquent, and artistic.
Interestingly, some sapiosexuals simply prioritize a person's intelligence without specific requirements. This might be a subjective judgment of how smart they perceive the individual to be or an appreciation for common sense.
Furthermore, there's a less obvious group of sapiosexuals who won't openly admit their preference for someone smarter than themselves. This might be due to an unwillingness to acknowledge that they consider their potential partner to be intellectually superior.
The signs that you might be a sapiosexualDiscovering that you are more interested in what lies beneath a person's smile and outward appearance can lead to deeper connections and long-lasting relationships. If you have found yourself relating to several points in this feature, you might be questioning the significance of physical attractiveness compared to mental stimulation.
Whether you're puzzled by your friends' infatuation with conventionally attractive strangers at a bar or tired of superficial and meaningless relationships, you may be curious if you possess the traits of a sapiosexual.
If you're still uncertain, take a look at the following points to determine if you are genuinely more attracted to intelligence over physical beauty!
Attraction to Intelligence: You feel an intense attraction towards people who display intelligence, knowledge, and a passion for learning.
Intellectual Conversations: Meaningful discussions and intellectual conversations are a significant turn-on for you, and you greatly value deep exchanges of ideas.
Priority on Mind over Looks: While physical appearance is not disregarded, you find yourself more drawn to a person's intellect and mental abilities than their physical features.
Shared Interests: You seek partners who share your intellectual interests and enjoy engaging in stimulating activities like reading, attending lectures, or discussing thought-provoking topics.
Emotional Intimacy: Emotional connection and understanding play an essential role in your relationships, and you appreciate partners who can empathize and connect with you on an intellectual level.
Respect for Intelligence: You deeply admire and respect a person's intelligence, valuing their unique perspectives and insights.
Compatibility in Conversations: Intellectual compatibility is crucial for you, and you prefer partners with whom you can have engaging and stimulating discussions.
Appreciation for Wit and Humor: You find intelligence and wit incredibly attractive, and a partner's ability to make you laugh with clever humor is particularly appealing.
Stimulation and Growth: Being with intellectually stimulating individuals motivates you to learn and grow, and you encourage personal development in your relationships.
Emotional Intelligence: Besides intellectual prowess, you also value emotional intelligence, seeking partners who understand and empathize with your feelings and emotions.
Long-lasting Connections: Your relationships tend to be based on strong emotional and intellectual bonds, leading to long-lasting and fulfilling partnerships.
If you resonate with these signs, it's likely that sapiosexuality is an essential aspect of your attraction and romantic relationships. Understanding your preferences can lead to more fulfilling connections with like-minded individuals who share your appreciation for intellect and mental connection.
How to attract and turn on a sapiosexual with your intelligenceIf you find yourself dating or interested in someone who values intelligence, you might wonder how to ignite their fascination and keep them engaged. Being intelligent yourself doesn't mean you won't feel a bit anxious about captivating them intellectually. But fear not! There are several ways to appeal to a sapiosexual's mind and spark a strong connection:
# Show Interest in Their Unique Interests: Discover their niche passions, whether it's mathematics, space, politics, or spirituality, and study up on these topics to have intriguing conversations.
# Plan Intellectual Dates: Join a book club together, visit libraries, or explore intellectual events to stimulate thoughtful discussions.
# Be Open to Learning: Allow them to teach you about their interests, as many sapiosexuals enjoy sharing their knowledge.
# Find Common Ground: Identify shared interests and discuss them passionately to create a connection.
# Share Your Own Passion: Offer insights into your own interests, and they'll appreciate hearing about your passions too.
# Opt for Documentaries: Choose educational documentaries over mindless entertainment, as sapiosexuals enjoy intellectual stimulation.
# Engage in Deep Conversations: Talk about profound and thought-provoking topics that others might overlook.
# Collaborate on Writing: Write a short story or explore creative projects together to engage in a collaborative intellectual process.
# Read Together: Wind down by reading non-fiction books or learning something new together.
# Host a Pretend Podcast: Role-play as podcast hosts and delve into engaging discussions on various themes.
# Discuss Controversial Topics: Engage in debates and conversations about controversial subjects, exploring multiple perspectives.
# Learn New Skills Together: Choose a skill you both find fascinating and challenge yourselves to learn and grow together.