Growing up, fairy tales were a constant in our lives—Disney movies, romantic stories, all nudging us towards the dream of our own Prince Charming or Cinderella. It felt inevitable, like love was written in the stars.
But as life unfolds, so does reality. Remember that guy from last year? The one who seemed so promising but turned out to be the complete opposite? It stung, right? It's not how the happily-ever-after is supposed to play out.
The clash between our fairy tale dreams and the harsh truths of relationships can hit hard. When someone we thought was the one falls short, it's like our own story takes an unexpected turn, and suddenly, those perfect endings feel a lot more elusive.
So, what to do? Do you give up on love and chalk all of your romantic dreams up to unrealistic fantasies? Or do you keep your heart open and hope that you’ll end up like Jack and Rose from The Titanic *minus his tragic death* or Noah and Allie from The Notebook *ditto… minus the alzheimer’s*. But hey, you get my drift.
# Love means that neither one of you plays the victim role or blames the otherAnother thing we don’t learn in school is how to work through our problems effectively. Instead, most people just scream, shout, and call each other names. Well, that’s not very effective now, is it? One of the big signs of love is when both people take personal responsibility for their actions and they don’t blame the other one.
# Love means having no expectationsYah, I know. Easier said than done! But bear with me here. Expectations can be the kiss of death in a relationship. When we have expectations of our partner, we will inevitably be disappointed.
But one of the real signs of love is to let the other person be who they really are, without expecting them to be who YOU want them to be. As long as they are treating you well, then let them be who they are.
# Love means that neither one of you is jealousMost people seem to automatically think that one of the signs of love is jealousy. But I assure you, it is not.
Jealousy is a form of fear. And there is no room for fear in love. So, when two people truly love each other unconditionally, then they are not jealous. Why? Because they have total and complete trust and faith in each other.
# Love means that both people show their love to each otherAs the saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” You know that these sayings exist for a reason, right? And this one couldn’t be more true. If you love someone, it’s not enough to say it.
You have to show them you love them. Everyone has their own love language. There is even a book about it called the Five Love Languages that you should check out for more information about it.
# Love means putting your partner’s needs equal to or before your ownLove is a two-way street. You can’t have one person giving all the time and the other person taking. It doesn’t work that way. BOTH partners have to care about each other’s needs just as much *if not more* than their own. Because if one *or both* people feel that their needs aren’t being met, then resentment will grow.
# Love requires effortSome people think that once they’re in a relationship, they can sit back and give a sigh of relief and think, “Whew! Now the work is done.” They think they can just coast and not try to do anything romantic anymore. That’s not love.
In real love, you always want to keep the romance alive because it comes naturally – and it’s not an effort at all.
# Love includes empathyEmpathy is not the same as sympathy. It means putting yourself in another person’s shoes and trying to identify with their feelings. When a partner doesn’t try to understand your feelings, you feel either rejected or unloved. True, unconditional love is always trying to understand and empathize.
# Love makes you feel goodWhile that may sound obvious, think about how many people in the world think that it’s normal to feel bad in their love relationship? Countless people stay in either physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive relationships because they think that’s normal. Newsflash: IT’S NOT NORMAL. And most importantly, IT’S NOT LOVE.