10 Signs of a Taker in a Relationship

Sometimes, first impressions can be deceiving. We might meet someone who seems amazing, funny, and kind, only to later discover they are self-centered and narcissistic. While there may be subtle signs of selfishness in the relationship, we often ignore them because we’re charmed by their initial behavior.

Unfortunately, this can lead to getting entangled in a one-sided, unhealthy relationship. This experience is more common than you might think, and it’s a valuable lesson many of us learn the hard way.

The key is to recognize if you’re in this kind of relationship, whether you’re the giver or the taker. Either way, it’s crucial to help yourself and step away from unhealthy dynamics.

Think of a healthy relationship like gift-giving during a holiday. It’s expected that if you give someone a gift, they’ll give you one in return. There should be a balance of giving and receiving, reflecting mutual care and respect.

Some people are natural givers. It’s part of their personality, and they find joy and fulfillment in giving because it boosts their self-esteem and brings positivity. However, this can sometimes put pressure on the taker to reciprocate, especially if the giving becomes constant. While most people would feel this pressure, takers usually don’t.

If the taker never reciprocates, the giver may end up feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. Their time, affection, and energy aren’t acknowledged, leading to a sense of being used, which can lower their self-esteem.

The foundation of a healthy relationship lies in reciprocity. Without it, the balance is off.

If you identify as a taker, you might not see the issue, but it is an unhealthy relationship. Don’t you want a partnership built on equality and love, rather than one-sided effort? And if you’re a giver, don’t you deserve to be loved and respected in return? This is an opportunity to reflect on your behavior and work towards being a better, more balanced person.

Ultimately, life is about growth and becoming the best version of yourself. It might sound cliché, but there’s truth in it.

So, ask yourself: Are you a giver or a taker?

# The taker demands support but never gives it

A key element of a healthy relationship is mutual support, where both partners stand by each other no matter what. In a give-and-take relationship, however, the support is often one-sided. The taker expects and demands support but rarely, if ever, provides it in return.

# The taker always expects the other to initiate plans

One partner always takes the initiative to make plans, while the other simply agrees or declines, never making an effort to plan anything themselves. This lack of initiative can be problematic. In a balanced relationship, both partners should contribute to planning and decision-making, rather than one waiting passively.

# The giver plays the role of a maid

Takers often avoid responsibilities like cleaning or chores because they rely on their partner to do it for them. The giver, eager to please, ends up doing everything, from laundry to cleaning the bathroom, effectively becoming a personal maid.

# The giver ends up paying for everything

Takers rarely reach for their wallet, expecting the giver to cover expenses like meals or tickets. They often develop a sense of entitlement, assuming everything should be handed to them. Givers, on the other hand, may end up stretching themselves thin financially, trying to make the taker happy.

# The giver’s efforts are never enough

For a taker, no effort from the giver ever seems sufficient. Even if the giver goes above and beyond, it’s never acknowledged. Instead, the taker manipulates the situation to extract even more, leading to burnout and frustration for the giver.

# Constant double texting indicates imbalance

If someone frequently double texts their partner, it’s often a sign they’re not receiving prompt responses. This suggests an imbalance, where one person is left waiting for attention while the other is disengaged, a typical behavior of a taker.

# The taker rarely shows affection

Takers are less likely to show affection because they don’t truly appreciate what their partner does for them. They might make their partner feel undervalued, and if the giver wants affection, they often have to ask for it—and even then, it’s not guaranteed.

# The taker never initiates intimacy

Takers don’t feel the need to initiate sex because they’re used to getting everything they want without effort. If they do express a desire for intimacy, it’s on their own terms, and they rarely engage in open discussions about it.

# Date night planning becomes a burden for the giver

When it comes to planning date nights, the giver is usually the one who arranges everything, from research to reservations, while the taker simply enjoys the experience. This creates a lopsided dynamic, where one person puts in all the effort.

# The giver’s needs are neglected

Everyone has needs, but in a relationship with a taker, the giver’s needs often go unnoticed. The taker is primarily focused on their own desires and shows little interest in reciprocating the care and attention their partner provides.