The desire to make others happy is a prominent trait in youth. During our younger years, we're eager to fit in with those we admire, often adjusting aspects of our personality to appear more cool in their eyes. But in the process, this urge to fit in might evolve into becoming a people pleaser.
But how far would you go to please someone else? And what sacrifices would you make just to ensure others' happiness?
Most importantly, does this tendency still exist within you today?
A people pleaser is someone who places great importance on making others happy, primarily seeking to be liked and appreciated in return. It's not about being manipulative or deceitful, but in their quest to please, they might go to great lengths, even if it means subtly influencing or persuading others.Everyone has a bit of people-pleasing in them. Almost all of us seek approval or hope to be seen as a nice person, sometimes anticipating a favor in return.
However, most of us know where to draw the line.But an overly eager people pleaser lacks clear boundaries, often not knowing when to stop.
Consider these signs with an open mind, and ask yourself if you can relate. You might think you're not an overzealous people pleaser, but take a moment to look deeper within.After all, there's nothing worse than living in denial.If you find yourself resonating with most of these signs, there's a strong possibility that you are a people pleaser.
# You crave complimentsYou're generous with compliments when you're with friends or colleagues, hoping to receive them in return. While everyone enjoys compliments, people pleasers need them because they struggle to validate themselves.
# You want to be noticedYou feel disappointed if no one comments on your new haircut or the shirt you're wearing to work. If no one compliments your outfit, you assume it looks bad, even if you initially loved it.
# You hide your true opinionsYou often suppress your own opinions, agreeing with others just to fit in. Your preferences change frequently, depending on the company you’re with, because you lack a strong sense of self-identity.
# You can't say noYou fear disappointing others, so you rarely refuse requests, even when it’s inconvenient. For example, you might agree to help a friend move, even if it means missing a family gathering, simply because you don’t know how to say no.
# You neglect your loved onesYou focus on pleasing new friends or colleagues, seeking their approval, while taking those who truly care about you for granted, assuming they’ll always be there regardless of how you treat them.
# You're more active around new friendsYou work hard to impress new acquaintances, but become complacent around those who know you well. You may think you’re being authentic, but your loved ones might feel neglected because you seem to reserve your best behavior for others.
# You always wear a smileAs a people pleaser, you rarely express anger, even when someone upsets you deeply. Instead, you internalize your frustration, leading to bottled-up resentment.
# Being loved is a top priorityYou want everyone to like you and remember you fondly, so you always try to present your best self to others, constantly seeking their approval and affection.
# Others' opinions influence you too muchThe opinions of others heavily impact your decisions. You often prioritize what others want over your own beliefs, relying more on their input than your own judgment.
# You constantly seek attentionYou're deeply afraid of losing friends and being disliked. The idea of being lonely or unloved is something you can’t bear.
# You're easily hurtYou feel deeply wounded when friends exclude you or make you feel unimportant. While you crave love and attention, you struggle to cope when others don’t prioritize you.
# You make big sacrificesYou often sacrifice your own happiness to please others or to earn their approval. In fact, you may not even know what truly makes you happy because you’re too focused on ensuring others are satisfied.