10 Subtle Yet Big Signs The Girl You Like is Using You

Are you starting to feel like the girl you like might be using you? Maybe the thought has crossed your mind, but you’ve been pushing it aside because she seems perfect in every way.

She might check all the boxes on your list of ideal traits. She might even say she likes you, and you two could already be dating. Yet, despite all of this, something about the relationship feels off—like it’s forced, leaving you feeling confused and less confident.

Sometimes, you meet someone who seems to fit your idea of the perfect partner. But if, in those early stages, you ever feel even a hint of doubt, it could mean she’s either taking advantage of you or keeping you as a backup option.

So, how can you tell if the girl you’re into is using you?

Realizing that someone you care about might be using you is tough, especially when you’re doing everything to make her happy. It can leave you wondering what went wrong.

Even if you’re saying and doing all the right things, it may never be enough for someone who doesn’t truly appreciate you. Could she be using you? Let’s find out.

# She constantly asks for space

She keeps saying she needs space, even though you haven’t seen her in weeks? Or is she the only one allowed to be clingy, but when you show affection, she can’t handle it? Maybe she’s affectionate for days, then completely ignores you for the next few.

While many girls enjoy playing hard to get, someone who genuinely likes you won’t take it too far. No matter how independent she is, she’ll still enjoy being around you. If she’s always pulling away, she might be keeping her options open for other guys.

# Acts more like a friend

Does she act more like a friend than a girlfriend sometimes? She may tell you she likes you but claims things are moving too fast, and she’s not ready for a relationship.

While friendship is a great foundation for love, if being ‘just friends’ is all she seems interested in, she might be using you for attention. She could want someone to care for her without having to reciprocate those feelings.

# Her friends don’t know you

One clear sign that a girl is using you is when she doesn’t introduce you to her friends. If you happen to run into one of her friends, pay attention to her reaction. If she suddenly becomes awkward, especially if she’s usually outgoing, something’s off.

And if none of her friends recognize you when you’re out with her, it’s a red flag.

# You’re dating… but not really

You believe you’re dating, but is it really dating if you’re the only ones who know about it? Does she introduce you as a friend or get embarrassed when she’s seen with you?

No matter how private a girl may be, if she truly likes you, she’ll be proud to show you off. But if she only acknowledges your relationship in private, she might be using you.

# Her friends are using you too

Another sign is when her friends start using you as well. When you’re around her friends (if you even get to meet them), do they only interact with you when they need a favor?

If so, her friends are in on it, and it’s a clear indication that she’s using you.

# She avoids labeling your relationship

You don’t necessarily need labels, but if this is something you want and she keeps dodging the conversation, it’s bad news. She might be confused about your relationship, especially if she just ended things with another guy.

However, if she truly wants to be with you, there wouldn’t be any confusion. While this doesn’t always mean she’s using you, if she keeps avoiding it, she might be postponing her rejection.

# She talks about her complicated love life

Does she spend a lot of time talking about her past relationships? Girls who use guys often want constant reassurance and attention.

She might have lost the love of her life and is looking for someone to fill that void, or she’s simply seeking validation after being rejected multiple times. Be cautious—she could be using you as a stand-in.

# She only misses you when she’s lonely

Does she only say she misses you when she’s feeling lonely? Maybe she calls you over when she can’t sleep or wants company to avoid being alone.

If she only reaches out when she’s sad or looking for physical affection, it’s a sign she’s using you as a last resort. A girl who truly likes you will want to talk to you for more than just comfort.

# She dominates the relationship

Now that she has you wrapped around her finger, she’s in full control of the relationship. She calls or meets you whenever it’s convenient for her, but you’re left waiting for her cues. You might think that doing everything she wants will make her like you more, but that’s not how it works.

A healthy relationship should be balanced, and if she’s only taking while you keep giving, it won’t last.

# She wants you to listen but doesn’t return the favor

This isn’t about someone being forgetful—it’s about her only wanting to talk about herself. You know everything about her life, her exes, and her hobbies, but she barely knows anything about you.

If she brushes off your conversations and always steers the topic back to herself, she might be using you to boost her ego. While some people are just unaware, if it’s a constant pattern, it’s a sign she’s only in it for herself.