After a couple successfully navigates the initial stages of dating, one would expect them to progress quickly towards building a lasting relationship. However, not everyone shares this viewpoint, as there are various reasons why someone might prefer to decelerate the pace of a relationship.
You might find yourself questioning your own desire to slow things down and wondering about the underlying reasons. Sometimes, even the person who wants to slow down may not have a clear understanding of their motivations.
Now that you are aware of what not to do when seeking to slow down a relationship, it is essential to focus on positive actions. The following suggestions will guide you on how to effectively navigate the hesitation or nervousness you may be experiencing about the rapidity of your relationship. Keeping these points in mind will assist you in achieving a slower pace that allows you to savor and enjoy your relationship, be it in terms of physical intimacy, emotional connection, or both.
Perhaps you're not yet ready to meet your partner's family, feel that you're spending an excessive amount of time together, or find yourself overwhelmed by intense emotions that necessitate a pause. By implementing these recommendations, you will be able to slow down your relationship and experience it with a sense of pleasure rather than anxiety.
# Tell them how you feelThe simplest approach to slowing down a relationship that is progressing too quickly for your comfort is to have an open conversation with your partner. Express your love for them and your enjoyment of spending time together, while also emphasizing your desire to savor the present moment more.
Communicate that the intensity of your feelings has caught you off guard and is causing some uneasiness. Make it clear that you're not looking to end the relationship, but rather to ease the pace a bit. Use the analogy of taking a leisurely Sunday drive instead of racing around a track. Additionally, make sure to inquire about your partner's feelings.
Are they content with the current state of affairs? Are they open to slowing things down to accommodate your comfort level? Strive to establish mutual understanding and agreement to be on the same page moving forward.
# Hang out in groupsIf you desire to maintain regular contact with the person you're dating but wish to slow down the romantic or physical aspects of the relationship, consider organizing more group-oriented outings. Double dates or group activities such as escape rooms or mini-golf can be excellent options.
By engaging in these social settings, you can continue building your connection and deepen your understanding of each other, all while alleviating the pressure of one-on-one interactions.
# Spend time with your other friends
New relationships can sometimes consume our attention and time. While we may not outright cancel plans with friends to spend time with our new partner, they can occupy a significant portion of our lives.
If you find yourself in this situation, make an effort to reconnect with your friends. Engage in activities that you enjoyed before entering this new relationship. By doing so, you will prevent the relationship from overwhelming your life while simultaneously slowing down its progress.
It's important for the new relationship to integrate gradually into your life rather than becoming the sole focus. This approach also helps establish healthy boundaries for the future. Regardless of how serious things become, it is crucial to maintain your own friendships and allocate time for personal activities.
# Avoid making plans too far in advanceWhen you've been dating for three months and find yourselves already making plans for an event or concert eight months down the line, it may create a perception of moving at an accelerated pace.
While making plans for the distant future might appear romantic and signify a desire for a long-term commitment, it can also introduce an intensity early on in the relationship.
# Don’t text so muchConstantly texting each other throughout the day may appear to be the standard expectation, but it is often excessive and unnecessary. Engaging in such frequent communication, especially in the early stages of a relationship, can feel overwhelming and suffocating.
Instead, it's sufficient to send a good morning message and perhaps share a funny meme during lunch. Then, you can catch up with each other after work or before bedtime. Maintaining a continuous conversation all day long is unnecessary and places a significant amount of pressure and commitment on both parties, especially considering the other responsibilities and activities each person has to focus on, such as work, friends, and hobbies.
# Take longer to respond to texts or missed phone callsSome individuals may perceive the approach of intentionally delaying or being less prompt in responding to messages as game playing. However, depending on how it is employed, it can be seen as an effective strategy for slowing down a relationship.
By not responding immediately or in a timely manner, you convey a message. It indicates either that you are occupied with other commitments and unable to reply promptly, or that you are not particularly eager to respond right away. While this method may not be the ideal way to communicate your desire to slow down, it can still be effective.
One potential drawback of this approach is that its success relies on the level of observance displayed by the other person. Some individuals may not notice the longer response times, while others may pick up on it immediately. Nevertheless, this strategy can be utilized effectively, particularly with individuals who appear oblivious to your genuine intention of slowing down the relationship.