It's Friday night: you put on your best going-out clothes and head to the bar with some good friends to have a good time. You arrive at the bar without a care in the world. You're just there to have fun after all when all of a sudden you see her: beautiful wavy hair, a wide smile, perfect dress, and the type of walk that demands attention. What began as a fun night out with your good friends has quickly turned into something much bigger: a chance to have a conversation with this amazing woman who has just stolen your heart. But how do you approach her?
First, you must realize that approaching women at a bar will not be the easiest of tasks. However, there are some strategies behind it. What strategy you use is completely up to you, as each woman is different and has different tastes. Nevertheless, if you follow these tips, your chance of striking up a conversation with the mystery girl at the bar will increase, and that slight chance of hooking up may not be so slight by the time your conversation has ended.
# Make sure she is not at the bar with a significant otherSome men have a tendency to be impatient in this situation. You see a woman at the bar and approach her without even thinking to ask if you can buy her a drink. Afterwards, you feel a strong tap on the back of their shoulder. You know the tap too well. It's the tap of the boyfriend wondering, in a curious manner, why on earth you are speaking to his girlfriend. Awkward! Don't be this guy. Take the time to pay attention to her first. Make sure that she is not with a significant other. If she's not, then you are ready to approach this girl.
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Win over her friends firstSo, we now know that if she's with a boyfriend, or girlfriend, that we're out of luck, but what if she's with a group of friends? The popular belief is to give up and call it a night. No one has ever penetrated the strong force field of a group of women friends. Right? Wrong! Yes, it's true, approaching a girl who is with friends is more difficult, but it is not impossible. The key to this situation is to win over her friends first. You may feel like a one-man-army up against an army of thousands, but if you can win her friends over, you have a shot. One way to do this is by being direct and polite: simply ask her friends if you may speak with the girl you find so beautiful. This sounds silly, but here's the thing, girls travel in groups, and they do that to protect each other from guys that are, well, jerks. Break their strong force field by showing them you mean no harm to their friend and they just may allow you to approach her. Now, it must be said that your chances to bring her home or hook up are very slim. However, you just might get her digits and that is where the fun begins.
# Approach the girl with confidenceConfidence is a big part of approaching women at the bar. You don't see a guy who is sweating, shaking, and mumbling picking up many women, and you definitely don't see them hooking up with many women. Women love confidence. Yet, it is really hard to be confident when approaching a girl. So, take a deep breath (maybe take a quick drink for courage) and approach the girl at the bar with confidence.
# Rejection at the bar: don't fear itBefore we look at the remaining tips, we all must understand one thing: rejection happens! It does, it just does. Rejection is part of life, and life at a bar is no different. Rejection at a bar can happen for many reasons: you said the wrong thing; you had the wrong timing; she isn't looking for anything; you smell, you tripped and fell — the list never ends. But it happens. Knowing that rejection is possible isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's actually the opposite. Understanding that the woman you are approaching may reject you will actually give you more confidence in your approach. Now, if you do get rejected, you would have realized beforehand that that was a possibility and your heart will survive another day. With that said, let's look at some more tips because no one came here for rejection!
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Lock eyes with the girlYour eyes can say it all: you can have a full conversation with your eyes before you even speak. If you see the girl from across the bar, don't be afraid to make eye contact and hold it. Just from this, you will be able to tell whether she's interested or not. That's right. Just by catching a woman's eye, you can see if she is looking for a conversation or looking for you to go as far away as possible. If you look deep enough, you may even be able to tell if there's a possible way to hook up later on. If you feel that there was a sliver — or more — of a connection once you've done this, then you are ready to approach this girl and begin your conversation.
# Show that smileSimilar to gazing into her eyes from across the bar is showing her your smile from across the bar. This shouldn't be one of those extra wide creepy smiles but your natural smile. Maybe even add a smooth head nod to the smile. Approaching a woman at the bar, with no signs to go by her, is challenging enough. But if you are able to make eye contact, give her a little smile and a head nod to go with, she might smile back. That makes picking up a girl at the bar a little less traumatizing!
# Have an idea for your opening lineMany of these tips work well when put together, but as mentioned earlier, you can use one of these tips without the other. However, if you put them all together, you have a much better chance of having a conversation with the girl you approached, or if everything goes well, you may even have a chance of hooking up later on. That being said, you must have an opening line or idea for what you will say. We will talk about those awful, cheesy pick-up lines soon so you can do better! But for now, let's focus on an opening line that isn't so immature. An opening line can really be anything, but it needs to be thoughtful and it needs to carry on a conversation. Guys, how many times have you approached a woman at the bar, gave a great opening line, and just nothing else? The conversation goes south, so you have to turn, face your friends and take that walk of shame. To not let this happen, come up with an opening line that requires a thoughtful answer or story. Then, build off her answer and, before you know it, you're deep in the conversation and having an amazing time.
# Refrain from using cheesy pick-up linesAre you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see! Yeah, good luck with that line. Hopefully, the girl won't laugh at you too much for that pick-up line. Listen, pick-up lines might work, just like you might win $500 in the lottery. Can it happen? Yes. Will it happen often? No. Girls, especially girls old enough to be at a bar, like mature, smart men. They don't tend to like a guy who uses pick-up lines, as they can be silly, easy, not meaningful and not thoughtful. You don't want that. So, the overall message for this tip is simple: refrain from using pick-up lines. If you must use one, you have to play it off in an innocent type of way, a cute way perhaps. However, it probably isn't your best bet when approaching a girl at the bar, and certainly not the best bet if your goal is to hook up at the end of the night.
# Compliment the girlOne way to approach a girl at the bar is by complimenting her. Who doesn't like a nice compliment from time-to-time? It just puts a smile on your face. Let's say you're walking down the street and a stranger tells you that you have amazing hair. Unless you're having a terrible day, you're probably going to smile automatically. At the bar is no different: most girls like being complimented. However, there is a catch! Use compliments that aren't overused, as compliments that are used over, and over, and over again, can come off as empty and just meaningless. You know the ones: You look really cute tonight, You're the most beautiful girl in the world. Examples like these are too common. You may even mean every word, but the woman at the bar doesn't think that. She thinks you're just another guy trying to hook up with a random girl. So, approach women with unique compliments instead.