12 Major Signs You are Being Stashed in Your Relationship

Wondering what stashing means in a relationship? It's a new term in modern dating that’s worth knowing. Recognizing the signs that you're being stashed can save you from confusion and heartache.

In today's fast-paced dating world, new trends seem to pop up constantly, often catching us off guard until we personally experience them.

When you find yourself puzzled by a partner's behavior and turn to Google for answers, you might discover it's part of a larger trend. That’s why you’re here. But don’t worry, we’re here to clarify this new phenomenon and help you identify if you’re being stashed in your relationship.

Before diving into the signs, let’s first define what stashing means.

Just like someone might stash an object out of sight, a person can stash their partner by deliberately keeping them hidden from their social circle. Make sense?

Stashing in a relationship happens when one partner intentionally excludes the other from their social life. They keep their partner away from friends, family, and public acknowledgment. This means no social media posts, no double dates, no public outings, no family dinners, and possibly not even mentioning the relationship to their family.

# They Start by Lovebombing

Stashing behavior doesn't show up immediately. Initially, everything seems wonderful as they shower you with affection and compliments. However, this intense early adoration can be a red flag for deeper issues like commitment or manipulation problems.

# You’ve Never Met Their Family

Or friends. Despite the time you’ve spent together, you haven’t met anyone from their side. You don’t know who their best friend is or even their mom's name because they’ve never introduced you to their social circle.

# You’re Absent on Their Social Media


While you might share photos and posts about your partner, their social media is devoid of any mention of you. When you do comment on their posts, they respond as if you’re just a friend, not their partner.

# You’re Putting in More Effort

You’re investing a lot in the relationship, going out of your way to make them happy, but they don’t reciprocate. This isn’t about material gifts but rather small gestures of appreciation and kindness, which are lacking from their side.

# They Blame You for Their Actions

They don’t take responsibility for keeping you in the dark. Instead, they deflect the blame onto you, using flimsy excuses to justify their disrespectful behavior.

# They Blame Their Friends


They claim it’s their friends' fault that you haven’t met them, making excuses like last-minute cancellations or surprise visits, conveniently avoiding accountability.

# They’re Defensive When Confronted

When you address their stashing behavior, they become defensive, accusing you of attacking them instead of understanding and working towards a solution. This often stems from their uncertainty about the relationship and a desire to maintain their single status.

# Minimal Public Outings

You rarely spend time together in public, and when you do, it’s in obscure places far from familiar faces. It feels like they’re hiding you, steering clear of popular or well-known spots.

# Their Past is a Mystery

You know little about their dating history, which they keep under wraps. They likely understand that revealing their past would provide context to their current behavior, putting the puzzle pieces together for you.

# Constant Excuses

Whenever you bring up concerns about their behavior, they offer new excuses. Despite how plausible these excuses sound, they never quite settle your unease.

# No Public Displays of Affection

In public, they avoid holding your hand, hugging, or kissing you. They maintain a formal distance, but when alone, they’re affectionate, creating a sharp contrast.

# Promises to Introduce You That Never Materialize

They mention plans to introduce you to friends or family but then go silent when the time comes. The promised meeting never happens, and they act as if the conversation never occurred.
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