8 Ways To Stop Being Attracted To a Friend

It's common to feel an attraction towards a friend. Whether these feelings develop into something deeper is another matter, but experiencing attraction is a normal occurrence. Knowing how to manage and diminish this attraction towards a friend is essential for maintaining emotional balance.

Reflect on the dynamics of friendships like in the TV show 'Friends.' Joey harbored attractions for all three women, yet they maintained a strong, platonic bond.

Attraction often encompasses physical appearance, personality, and more. It's primarily a physical sensation rather than an emotional one. You can feel attracted to someone without it leading to action or implying anything beyond the feeling of attraction.

# Why are you attracted to a friend?

There are different types of attraction. You can be physically attracted to your friend or maybe you’re behaviorally attracted to them or intellectually attracted to them.

Pinpointing what it is that you’re attracted to can help you analyze it so that it all makes sense and isn’t so mysterious which makes it hard to handle. Even without learning how to stop being attracted to a friend, defining why you are can make it easier to deal with.

# Redirect your attraction

Every time you have a sexual feeling about your friend, redirect that emotion to reality. You are not romantically with this person. They are your friend. You enjoy your time together, and you rely on each other. Take that physical or romantic attraction and apply it to your platonic friendship.

# Consider the negatives of acting on your attraction

This tip, although useful, is not my favorite. You should never have to guilt yourself for natural feelings of attraction, but reminding yourself of why you aren’t acting on those feelings can help you keep a clear mind.

# Think about the qualities about them you aren’t attracted to

Sure, they are your friend and you like them. There are always things that will irk you. Do they chew with their mouth open or text and drive? Maybe they look good in a swimsuit, but are they unreliable as a prospective partner?

# What makes them a good friend?

Focus on your stronger feelings. Attraction is not permanent. It is often brief and fleeting. So, focus on your friendship.

Think about the rough times they’ve been through with you or your mutual love for a fandom or that inside joke. Focus on the feelings you want to keep and put less attention on the ones you want to get rid of.

# Organize your feelings on paper

Write it all out. Our feelings, even ones as basic as attraction can easily get jumbled inside our heads. If you want to stop being attracted to a friend, write down your feelings. Describe when you were first attracted to them, why, how they make you feel.

This doesn’t have to be concise or perfect. You only write it out for yourself, then crumble it up and toss it out later. Putting your feelings on paper where you can see them and then getting rid of it may seem silly but is very symbolic.

# Why is it so frustrating?

Why are you suffering? Are you masochistic? Do you like the feeling of knowing you’re attracted to someone that is out of reach? Are you hoping they will tell you they find you attractive as well?

Consider why it is so hard for you to stop your attraction or why being attracted to them is such a problem. This may take more than some thinking. You may want to talk to someone you trust or even a therapist to figure out what makes this so hard for you.

# Take some space

Spending a lot of time with a friend you are attracted to will make your attraction grow. Tensions run high, and you feel things due to proximity.

Spend some time apart. Don’t stop being friends. If you want to know how to stop being attracted to a friend, just pick up a project that will keep you busy for a while so you can clear your mind before hanging out together again. And then hang out in groups so your attention isn’t so focused on them.