We've all experienced anger at some point in our lives, but for some individuals, it seems to be a consistent aspect of their personality. While some people can forgive and let go, others struggle to do so. If you're wondering how to manage and reduce your anger, it's likely that you're grappling with some deep-seated emotional pain.
Anger is among the most counterproductive and damaging emotions one can harbor. However, much like love, there are moments when it feels uncontrollable. While it's a fundamental human emotion that can be challenging to quell, there are methods to regain control.
If you find yourself unable to release unresolved anger, there's a strong possibility that it's not solely about the anger itself.
How frequently do you find yourself becoming angry? Is it a rare occurrence, a common and reasonable response, or an everyday experience? If you discover that you're becoming easily angered over trivial matters, it's crucial to explore the underlying causes.
Could there be unresolved issues that demand your attention?
Often, underlying problems that are simmering in the background can trigger anger to surface abruptly, often over unrelated issues. Take some time to introspect and identify what's unsettling you, and make an effort to address those underlying concerns.
In this case, it's not so much about learning how to calm down when you're angry as it is about understanding why your anger is triggered so readily.
# Embrace ForgivenessSometimes, we claim to forgive, but deep down, we don't truly let go. Instead, we store those grievances in our emotional arsenal. To learn how to quell your anger, practice genuine forgiveness and release those grudges. The age-old adage I'll forgive, but I won't forget isn't the way to go. To overcome anger, it's essential to forget the past hurt, or else you'll perpetually carry resentment. Opt to forgive and leave it in the past. By doing so, you may find your anger towards unrelated issues fading away.
# Cultivate EmpathyIf your anger stems from someone hurting you, try to play devil's advocate with yourself. Often, we attribute malicious intent to others when there might not have been any. Consider stepping into the other person's shoes and ponder why they may have said or done what they did. This perspective can make it easier to relinquish your anger.
# Extend Pity to the OffenderThis might seem counterintuitive, but attempt to feel compassion for the person who hurt you. If someone's actions have caused you pain and they exhibit unkind behavior, pity the fact that they must be so unhappy or insecure that they derive satisfaction from making others feel worse. Pity them for lacking the kindness that you possess.
# Realize That Harboring Anger Harms YouClutching onto anger takes a toll on your physical well-being, whether through clenched jaws, muscle tension during sleep, or the emotional baggage you carry. What's more, the person you're mad at may be unaware or indifferent to your feelings, especially if they haven't apologized. By holding onto anger, you give them the power to hurt you repeatedly. Don't give them that satisfaction.
# Recognize the Futility of AngerAnger is a powerful emotion that drains your vitality. Spending time and energy on anger, ruminating over a situation, or stewing in your own negative emotions is counterproductive. Consider how you could channel that energy into more positive pursuits, such as nurturing relationships, pursuing hobbies, or working toward your goals.
# Practice Deep BreathingFor some individuals, anger is a frequent and intense experience. Unchecked, it can lead to uncontrollable consequences. Scientific research has shown that deep breathing can help shift your body from the sympathetic fight or flight response to the parasympathetic nervous system, inducing a state of calm and relaxation. If you struggle with chronic anger, practicing deep breathing can swiftly dissipate much of your anger.
# Explore HypnotherapyFor those grappling with anger issues, hypnotherapy can be a path to calm and release. Fortunately, today, you can access hypnotherapy through your smartphone, without the need for a therapist's appointment. Simply download an anti-anger hypnosis program, put in your earbuds, and let your subconscious and conscious minds resolve the issue, often with the subconscious emerging victorious.
# Confront the Source of Your AngerSometimes, we hold onto anger because we never had the chance to express ourselves or confront the person who hurt us. It feels as if they walked away without being held accountable. If residual anger lingers due to unspoken words, find a way to address it. Write a letter or have a face-to-face conversation to express your feelings. Once it's out in the open, there's a good chance you won't carry that anger any longer.
# Adopt the Perspective That It's Their LossIf someone has hurt you, and anger persists, consider distancing yourself from them. You have no obligation to endure repeated harm because of a sense of obligation. Your primary duty is to yourself. If you can't let go of your anger, walk away and understand that it's their loss. They couldn't change their destructive behavior, but you can shield yourself from further harm.
# Abandon Thoughts of RevengeWhen anger consumes us, we often contemplate ways to seek revenge against those who have wronged us. To stop being angry, refrain from dwelling on ways to harm them. Persistent brooding doesn't diminish the pain; it merely keeps it in the forefront of your mind. When thoughts of past grievances arise, deliberately dismiss them.