There aren’t any rules when it comes to ignoring someone for attention. All we end up doing is testing out different strategies until we get what we want.
Before you try ignoring someone for attention, I recommend talking to your partner first. I know it can be awkward and uncomfortable, but it’s the best way to see what’s really going on. Now, maybe you’ve already tried to talk to your partner and there hasn’t been any change.
In this case, you may need to be a little more extreme in your actions to get a reaction. If you’re looking for a reaction and attention, you’ll definitely get one when by ignoring them.
Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, things get a little dull. You know, it starts to become routine, there’s no excitement or spontaneity. This is when you need to try to spice things up a bit and give the relationship a little boost. If you feel that your partner is acting distant and losing interest, it can be hard to handle.
Or, in some cases, you’re in a new relationship and don’t want to give the impression that you’re needy and clingy. In both cases, I completely understand why you’d want to back off and give some space.
Of course, there are plenty of different ways to handle these types of situations but ignoring someone for attention often works. Sometimes, it needs to be done.
* Talk to them before. Don’t just pull out this strategy without trying the other ones first. Ideally, you should sit down with them first and talk about what’s going on.
If they’re not fulfilling a need, discuss it first before you start ignoring them for attention. Talk about what’s going on, how you’re feeling, and what you can improve on. Then, work on making those improvements together. If nothing changes, then you can pull out this strategy.
* Breathe. Is this an overreaction? Is this person really not giving you attention or are they simply not giving you the exact attention you want? Before you jump to conclusions, calm down and take a breath. It could be that you simply have some miscommunication to sort out. This is nothing to freak out about and can be fixed.
* Stop ignoring yourself. Here we go. If you want to ignore someone, all you need to do is start focusing on yourself. It’s amazing how easy it is to ignore someone when you’re focused on your needs instead of their needs.
Don’t be so attentive and quick to jump to their call. You don’t need to pretend that you’re busy, in fact, you are busy with your own life. Once they see that you don’t have time for them, they start to give you more attention.
* Complete your goals. We all have goals, whether short or long-term ones. Instead of letting them pass by, take this time to complete them. Again, you’re not visibly ignoring them, instead, you’re doing things that you want to do. This will make them try harder for your attention as it’s showing that you’re self-sufficient.
* Don’t constantly ignore them. If you ignore someone constantly, it’ll become tiring and boring, thus, they’ll move on. If you’re looking for attention, you need to keep them on their toes. Give them a little bit of attention, enough to keep them coming back for more, however, don’t give them more than they deserve. Ignoring someone for attention is all about acting hot and cold, as Katy Perry once said, and it drives people nuts.
* Give the same as they give. Relationships are about giving and taking. If they send you one-worded text messages, do the same. You don’t need to invest more in the relationship than them. Once they see that you’re not falling for their act, they’ll start to give you more attention. This is when you’re changing the power position and now, you’re in control.
* Use their competitive side. Everyone has a competitive side, this is what makes us achieve more. So, you can use this as a way to get attention. Jealousy is a great way to make someone give you more attention. You don’t have to be extreme, simply talking to someone that they deem as a threat is enough to make them run after you.
* Appear emotionally flat. People want to see your reaction. They want to see that you like them and that they’re needed by you. But that’s the trap you need to avoid. Instead of showing emotions, you need to hide them in this case. You should only show your emotions when they show their emotions. If not, you’ll give them all the power and use it to their advantage.
* Don’t treat them as something special. If you treat them like they’re special, they’ll believe that they’re special. But this won’t mean that they’re going to give you the attention you want. You cannot let them feel that they’re above you in any way.
This means you need to refrain from giving them any type of special treatment. They’re like anyone else. Once they see that, they’ll try harder for your attention.
* Are they really the right person for you? You need to ask yourself, if I have to ignore them in order to get attention, is this someone I want to be with? Your partner should be able to fulfill your needs and vice versa. Naturally, there’ll be some ups and downs, like any relationship, but that’s what communication is for.
Doing this is going to take up a lot of energy and become dramatic, so, really think about if this is something you want to deal with.