7 Tips To Stop Feeling Used By a Guy

Having experienced being used by a guy I dated for over four years, I'm here to share my insights and prevent you from falling into the same trap. It's quite ironic that before you even realize it, you find yourself accustomed to this situation.

When a guy is using you, it's not always glaringly obvious; it's a subtle process. Initially, you may think that you're simply doing what's expected in a caring relationship. Even as you notice signs of being taken for granted and an imbalance in the relationship, you convince yourself that you should treat him as you would want to be treated.

As a result, you allow him to continue exploiting you, whether it's for sex, work, errands, or other things. However, the crucial first step to putting an end to feeling used by a guy is to recognize the signs when it occurs.

# Ask for more

Indeed, there are some guys who fail to realize how hurtful their behavior can be. They've become accustomed to you being kind and giving, and now they expect it as the norm. To be fair, consider giving him the benefit of the doubt once and request him to do more for you.

Ask him to take you out on a date or assist you with a project—anything that would make him comprehend the extent of your efforts for him. By taking this step, not only will the relationship become more balanced, but you'll also receive the appreciation and treatment you rightfully deserve.

# Say no

Among all the advice I can offer, this particular one is both challenging and immensely gratifying. It involves putting an end to the actions that make you feel used. It can be difficult because you might feel like you're betraying someone who heavily relies on you, and depending on his personality, his reaction could be harsh.

When you start asserting yourself by saying no to his requests or simply not fulfilling his expectations, he might react negatively. His emotions could range from anger to fury, or he may feel betrayed. This is because he has grown accustomed to using you, and now you're taking a stand, which he won't appreciate as it disrupts the status quo.

Nonetheless, it's essential to stand your ground and not make excuses. Be truthful about your decisions instead of claiming to be busy. Drawing from my personal experience, after struggling for a long time, I finally mustered the courage to tell my ex that our relationship only existed on his terms, whenever it was convenient for him. He expected me to rearrange my plans to suit his needs, and this needed to change.

# Put your feelings first

In a relationship, there's often a sense of putting your partner's needs before your own. However, if he is taking advantage of you, he ceases to be a genuine partner and instead assumes the role of a boss. Remember, you don't have to constantly please him. Healthy relationships are built on a balance of give and take. If you find yourself always giving while he continuously takes, that doesn't qualify as a true partnership.

Therefore, prioritize yourself. Make decisions based on what is right for you, not solely for his benefit. Take care of your own needs and well-being. For instance, I used to prioritize my ex's homework over my own until I was exhausted and nearly dozing off. But I made a change—I focused on my work and allowed myself to relax. I no longer worried if he claimed to need me because what truly mattered was that I needed to take care of myself.

# Make plans

One of the most effective strategies to break free from feeling used by a guy is to keep yourself occupied. By staying busy, you not only prevent him from taking advantage of you but also reclaim your independence. Engaging in various activities and pursuits leaves little room for him to use you.

Explore going out, immerse yourself in work, or even consider redesigning your bedroom – anything that keeps you engaged and occupied. Avoid constantly staring at your phone, as busyness will naturally divert your thoughts away from him. This shift in focus not only helps in ending the feeling of being used but also reinforces your sense of self-worth and what you have to offer beyond this particular guy. Embracing this approach allows you to appreciate yourself and your potential contributions to the world, extending far beyond the confines of this relationship.

# Prioritize your friends

Feeling used by a guy frequently occurs when they manipulate us into canceling our plans to accommodate their desires. They may only choose to spend time with us if no better options arise, leaving us waiting for their attention.

It's unfortunate that when we find ourselves in this situation, we often fall into the trap of placing him above our friends. However, this is an unhealthy pattern because our friends are the ones who are consistently there for us, regardless of whether there's a guy in the picture or not. It's essential to break free from this cycle by making plans and sticking to them, even if he reaches out. Our priority should be with the people who genuinely prioritize us and value our time and company.

# Confront him

If you find it challenging to distance yourself from the guy, consider having an open and calm conversation with him. Express your feelings honestly and let him know how his actions are affecting you. Share that you feel you're putting in all the effort while he appears to be using you.

Of course, there's no guarantee that this conversation will be well-received or that it will lead to an immediate change in his behavior. However, it's worth trying because some guys are genuinely decent and may want to make you feel appreciated and respected. By communicating your concerns, you give him an opportunity to understand the impact of his actions and, hopefully, a chance to rectify the situation. Remember, open communication is key in any relationship, and it's worth taking the chance to address your feelings and seek a positive resolution.

# Give an ultimatum

Stopping the feeling of being used by a guy is undoubtedly challenging, but in some cases, it becomes necessary. When you love someone deeply, it can be incredibly difficult to end the relationship, even if you're being mistreated. The belief that love can overcome all obstacles and that he will eventually change may cloud your judgment.

However, you must prioritize yourself in this situation. This is your life, and you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, even if it means being alone. Consider whether you'd rather be happy in your own company or unhappy with him. It's crucial to have an honest conversation with him about his behavior and its impact on you. Let him know that if things don't change, you can't continue the relationship.

But remember, sticking to your decision is crucial. Empty promises and half-hearted ultimatums will only exacerbate the situation. If you decide to take the ultimatum route, be prepared to follow through with it. Your well-being and self-respect should never be compromised for the sake of holding onto a relationship that leaves you feeling used and undervalued.