We all worry that we are bothering people when we reach out, but you can learn how to text your crush without being annoying.
When I was younger, my biggest fear was that I was annoying. I feared that they didn’t want me around. So, when it came to talking to a crush, that was amplified by a billion. But all said and done, learning how to text your crush without being annoying is an important dating skill.
Dating a crush made me so nervous that I would screw things up and embarrass myself. My crush didn’t just not like me back, but he found me annoying.
Since then I not only gained confidence in myself but realized I am worthy of others’ attention. I no longer believe that I am a bother or pestering someone just by texting them.
But, how do you get there? Well, I can help you learn how to text your crush without being annoying.When you exude confidence through your words and actions, others perceive you as such. You then actually gain true confidence. Do you worry a lot about what other people think of you? Have you been told you’re annoying by those you are close to or even by your crush?
* Never apologize for talking
Go in with confidence right from the first text. Never say you’re sorry for reaching out. Never apologize just for sharing your opinion or seeing if they want to hang out.
By doing that you only further induce the idea that you’re annoying them. Own your words and have faith in yourself.
* Don’t ask if you’re being annoyingJust by putting that idea into their head, they will start to believe it. I talked to a guy who I wasn’t annoyed by until I couldn’t text back right away. He would constantly ask me if he was bothering me. He never was until he asked that.
That is not an attractive quality. If someone isn’t texting back right away, they are probably busy. Even if they say that they are busy, do not say sorry for texting them or feel bad.
* Do not second guess yourself
Once you send a text to your crush, do not second guess it. Do not reread it until it sounds crazy. There is no need to overanalyze every text to your crush. If you hope to hang out with them you won’t have the time to overanalyze and second guess yourself in person, so just go with it.
* Don’t overdo it
Play it cool. You can have an exciting conversation but try not to be too intense. If you are eating, you don’t need to write a novel with the details to your crush. Keep it simple.
Let them know you are interested in hanging out and offer an idea like the new mini-golf course. When you have confidence in yourself you don’t have to add bells and whistles to everything you say.
* Keep yourself busy
You may feel like you’re being annoying when texting your crush because they haven’t answered back automatically. But, even with the addiction to technology we all have times when we are away from our phones.
Instead of staring at your phone and waiting for a response, wondering what they could be doing or if they read your message, do something. Read a book, do a DIY project, or go for a walk with your phone on silent. Don’t let texting your crush take over your day.
* Talk to a trusted friend
Sometimes all you need to make sure you feel good about texting your crush is encouragement from a trusted friend that lifts you up. You want a friend that will remind you how amazing you are.
You want a friend who won’t just make you feel hopeful but also be there for you if it doesn’t go well because there is no such thing as a sure thing. If you are nervous about texting your crush, do it in the company of this friend. Then you have someone who will amp you up and boost your ego.
* Don’t be too eager
We all want someone who is interested in us, your crush included, but being too eager and available is just too much sometimes. Your crush may not even know you like them. Jumping the gun can come off as desperate or needy.
When they text back, you can do a silent celebratory dance to yourself, but try to wait a few minutes to respond. Just let the conversation flow and don’t jump into it headfirst.
* Talk about mutual connections
If you reach out to your crush saying, “hey, what’s up?” they may not be annoyed, but they also won’t be interested or intrigued. Instead of generic topics, bring up an interest you share from the start.
Ask them about the assignment you have due tomorrow. Ask if they’ve watched the latest season of Stranger Things or if they’ve seen the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Starting the conversation with a topic and not just “how are you” or “what’s up” stops the empty talk and boring conversation.
* Never double textI know you want to hear from them but NEVER double text. Sure you can fix a spelling error or say “did you this new movie?” then send a text saying, “It was awesome!,” but only immediately as if it is the same message.
Don’t text and then say, “hey did you get my last text?” or send the same message twice. If they don’t answer then they don’t. It isn’t the end of the world. But double texting is annoying even coming from someone you like. Hit send and put your phone down.
* Take no or nothing as your answerIf they aren’t texting you back, don’t assume they find you annoying. Some people just can’t text back and say they are taken, they aren’t interested, or just don’t want to talk.
If they are ghosting you, just accept it. It sucks and I know that, but it will be better to just accept that you aren’t a match and move on. It is better you know now.