Let’s face it—relationship disagreements, and even fights, are inevitable. Every individual is unique, with their own perspectives, opinions, and ways of doing things. So, when two people enter a close relationship, it’s natural to expect some growing pains. After all, you can’t always be on the same page, right?
As you get to know each other better, you may find yourselves agreeing more often, but you'll never agree on everything. Sometimes, you might even bicker just for the sake of it. While occasional arguments aren’t a cause for alarm, there are moments when you should pause and consider whether it’s time to intervene.
Wondering if you and your partner are arguing too much? Rest assured, there's no set number of disagreements that's considered normal. However, it’s essential to ensure you’re not fighting just to fight, and that you always reconcile properly afterward—because let’s be honest, making up is the best part, right?
So, how can you gauge if you’re fighting too often? While there’s no definitive answer, there are definitely signs that things might be on shaky ground.
Here are 15 signs you may be having too many fights and need to step in.
# You can't have a conversation without it turning into a fightFrequent fights shouldn’t overshadow your ability to have regular conversations. Communication is crucial in a healthy relationship, and if even lighthearted discussions trigger arguments, it’s a clear sign of underlying issues.
# You carry unresolved issues from one fight to the nextFailing to resolve previous arguments means you're likely to drag unresolved details into the next fight. This cycle will repeat itself, making fights come quicker and more often. It’s important to resolve disagreements for them to be constructive.
# You argue every dayWhile there’s no exact number of fights that’s normal, arguing every single day is excessive. When constant fighting leaves no time for fun or enjoyment, your relationship can start feeling more like a battlefield.
# You feel you can’t express your emotionsIf you feel unable to express your feelings without sparking another argument, you're having too many fights. Communication is key, and if you avoid discussing what's bothering you due to fear of conflict, that’s a red flag.
# You focus on irritations instead of positive traitsWhen you’re in a constant fighting mode, you may only see the things about your partner that annoy you. Instead, try to focus on the things you love about them—everyone has flaws, but they shouldn’t dominate your thoughts.
# Criticism has become routineIf your relationship is filled with constant criticism, it’s unhealthy. Regularly criticizing each other is a sign of too many fights, and the negative energy between you is becoming toxic. It's time to address what’s driving these arguments.
# You avoid difficult conversationsEvery relationship requires tough conversations from time to time. Healthy couples can handle these without turning them into major conflicts. Avoiding these talks is a short-term fix, not a long-term solution.
# You’d rather be alone than with your partnerIf you find yourself preferring solitude or spending time with friends to avoid another fight, it’s a sign your relationship has too much conflict. Constant fighting can make time together feel draining rather than enjoyable.
# Apologies are rareA sincere apology is key to resolving disagreements. If neither of you is willing to say sorry, it indicates that you're arguing for the sake of it rather than trying to resolve issues.
# You often go to bed angryAllowing unresolved issues to fester overnight will only fuel more fights the next day. A wise piece of advice is to never go to bed angry—discuss things before sleep and try to make amends.
# There's a lack of honestyWhen you no longer feel able to be honest with your partner, or suspect they’re withholding the truth, it can lead to ongoing conflict. If honesty is lacking, it’s a sign that your relationship is in trouble.
# You feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoasterConstant fighting can leave you feeling emotionally drained, as if you’re stuck on an exhausting rollercoaster. While some disagreement is normal, feeling constantly upset or on edge is not healthy.
# You argue out of habitWhen arguing becomes routine, you may begin to care less about the outcome, which is a major sign you're having too many fights. Instead of addressing core issues, you find yourselves bickering about anything and everything.
# You bicker over trivial thingsOccasional random arguments are normal, but if you’re constantly bickering over small, silly things, it could indicate deeper unresolved issues, making the relationship feel toxic.
# Your friends express concernIf your friends are worried about how much you’re fighting, it’s worth paying attention. Often, those outside the relationship can see things more clearly than those involved.