Let’s talk about how you can rapidly mature your relationship. If you’re in a long-term relationship or a marriage, you can really have intimacy. Let’s define intimacy for a moment. You will not get change unless you change. If you keep doing the same things, you’re going to keep getting the same results. These things are known to you. I know when I want change I have to look at what disciplines I need to embrace to get the result of that change. If I want health, I have to change things. If I want intimacy in my marriage, or long-term relationship, I need to have disciplines that create those results.
* The first exercise is feelingsIdentifying and communicating feelings is a skill. Skills can be learned by anyone. I can testify to that personally as well as anyone. I have witnessed many couples who have grown in the skill of identifying and communicating their feelings.
* The second exercise is praisesThink of two things you love, like, or appreciate about your spouse. Get them in your head. This one’s like ping pong. You do one, your spouse does one, you do one, and your spouse does one. For example, “I really love the fact that you were so creative in the way you solved that problem.” Then she has to say thank you. This is very important. You have to say thank you to let the praise enter in. So many people are praised but they don’t let it in, so their account still stays in deficit because they’re not letting the money in the account. When someone gives praise, the other person has to say thank you.
* The last exercise is prayerWhatever your spiritual background is, engage that. If you don’t have one, just say, “God, we’re just supposed to pray. Thank you so much for today. Thank you for my wife. Thank you for my family.” That’s enough, you want get in some kind of spiritual connection because you have a spirit and however you manifest that or experience that, you want to experience it together. I can tell you these three exercises: two feelings, two praises, and prayer, meditation (connectivity, some kind of a spiritual connection) every day becomes a discipline.