When you hold your baby in your arms the first time, and you think of all the things you can say and do to influence him, it's a tremendous responsibility. What you do with him can influence not only him, but everyone he meets and not for a day or a month or a year but for time and eternity.
The Reasons Parents NagNagging is about us, not our kids. It's a sign that our lives are out of sync and we need to make changes. The following are five common reasons why we may be turning to this ineffective and destructive method of communicating with our youngsters:
We feel powerless in our lives: in our marriages, our jobs, and our families. Wanting to be in control of something, we target our kids.
We feel anxious about the competitive world in which our children live. To cope with our fears, we push and nag our kids to get top marks, excel in athletics, have part-time jobs and internships, and be popular with the right crowd. We're too busy and stressed out to help our children. When we're parenting on-the-fly—rushing here and there and barking out orders—we forget that kids are little people who need our patience and guidance.
Our expectations are out-of-whack. Thinking a kindergartner can clean their bedroom all by themselves or a teenager will always return the car with a full tank of gas is unreasonable and causes frustration.
We learned it from our parents. We nag because our moms and dads did so when we were growing up and now we're following their example because it's what we know.