7 Common Signs You Are Being Cushioned By Someone Right Now

A decade or so ago, when we shut someone down and stopped dating, we just did it. We didn’t have to call it ghosting. When a guy led a girl on, we just said he was playing her, we didn’t call it bread crumbing. And now cushioning in dating is another load of shit. Something close to bread crumbing, it stems from someone being too insecure to face their own lack of self-esteem.

The word cushioning means that you put a buffer between something fragile and things that might hurt it. So, it would make sense that an insecure person would put their fragile ego behind the cushioning of admirers just in case.

Like keeping your options open, when a person cushions themselves with dating potentials, they make themselves feel less fragile to being alone. Pathetic really, they string several people along just in case the one they are currently dating decides to break up with them.

# Overprotective of their phone

If the person you’re dating always has their phone on them, and even in some over-the-top ways, then that is a big sign of cushioning.

For example, if they always have their phone in their pocket, in their hand, and never within their partner’s reach, there is a problem. Even worse, if they have bizarre behaviors like sleeping with their phone under their pillow or leaving the room every time they text or get a phone call, something shady is going on.

# Hot and cold behavior

One day the person you’re dating seems really into you and everything seems normal. They might even appear to be very in love with you.

But then some other day, they are very disconnected and hardly even want to talk to you. As someone who is being cushioned, you may be very confused by this hot-and-cold behavior. You can’t figure out whether your partner is committed or if they have their foot out the door.

# Secretive on social media

Let’s say you’re out with your lover at a concert, and you take photos together. Then, you post it on social media and tag your partner. If they don’t accept the tag or reveal any kind of sign that they’re spending time with you, that means they don’t want other people to know they’re in a relationship with you.

The reason for this is that they’re keeping their options open and cushioning you at the same time. Also, if they always close up their social media whenever you walk by, you know they have something to hide!

# Intimacy is fading

In a good, healthy relationship, there will be a good amount of physical and emotional intimacy. So, when someone is cushioning in a relationship, that intimacy is slowly – or not so slowly fading away.

Sex becomes less and less. And the amount of quality time they spend together declines too. The time that they do spend together is spent not talking or connecting with one another. That’s probably because their attention is going to someone else.

# Vague with their plans

When someone is cushioning their partner, they won’t be very forthcoming about their whereabouts or the plans they have.

If you ask them what they are doing on any given day, they will say “I’m not sure yet,” as they walk out the door. Also, they don’t really want to plan anything long-term with you, the weekend may be the furthest they see with you!

That’s because they are keeping their options open and don’t want to commit to something with you, just in case something more interesting comes up with someone else!

# Putting less effort into the relationship

Maybe at the beginning of the relationship, they were very attentive. They always planned date night, bought you cute gifts, and wanted to cuddle with you all the time.

But if they aren’t putting any of that effort in anymore, there is a reason. Some of that is normal, but if they never want to work on the relationship, it’s probably because they’re cushioning and don’t want to invest any more into the relationship.

# They reply to others faster than their partner

When you send them a text or call them, they take a long time to reply to you. But when they are with you in person, it’s obvious that they take other people’s texts and calls immediately! That’s probably because you’re not a high priority anymore. They are probably cushioning you with one – and possibly more – people.