8 Signs Of Jealousy To Keep An Eye On When Someone Tries To Control You

Jealousy is quite common. We’ve all felt it. Maybe we’re jealous of how someone on social media looks, how successful a former classmate is, or how much money someone has. The signs of jealousy are everywhere. But it isn’t always unhealthy. It isn’t always a danger to a relationship.

Sometimes jealousy can be a slight sting or a moment in time. But, when jealousy affects how you think, it becomes a problem. When it becomes so strong that it overwhelms your mind, makes you irrational, or wavers your trust, it becomes a problem. And that is the jealousy we’re talking about today.

It is this kind of jealousy you should be aware of, and know how to handle if you want a successful relationship.

Innocent jealousy can quickly turn into something much more dire like possessive behavior, manipulation, and more.

These things can happen to you or your partner. Being aware of jealousy from both sides is important. You want to know how to acknowledge your own jealousy so you can discuss it, but also know how to spot signs of jealousy in your partner too.

But, first, let’s dive into what causes jealousy, so that when it does arise you can be more understanding of those feelings.

# There is an issue when your attention is elsewhere

If you get in a fight or if your partner gives you the cold shoulder when your attention is directed somewhere else, this could be a sign of jealousy. Whether you’re focused on work, your family, or your friends, jealousy shows bitterness.

They could be petty in their behavior. They could say rude things about your friends when you get back from a night out. Or they might ignore you when you share stories. If after you’ve spent time with someone other than your partner they seem upset, it is likely a sign of jealousy.

# They knock you down

A jealous partner can become very manipulative very quickly. When you’re excited about a work event, promotion, or visiting a sibling, they will try to lessen your excitement. They want you to feel as down as they do.

They believe that if they can take away your happiness regarding other parts of your life, then you will cling to them how they are clinging to you.

# They won’t admit it

Usually, someone feeling jealous won’t admit it to themselves, or you. They’d deny it and deny more until it gets out of hand. This person is feeling down on themselves. An admission of their insecurities out loud would be wildly vulnerable.

If you ask them why they’re jealous or accuse them of being jealous and they get defensive, they likely are. They also tend to withdraw affection. For example, they may not say goodnight or kiss you. They may brush off your affections in the thick of it as well.

# They want you to themselves

They prefer to just be with you. If they say they’ll miss you when you’re going out so you invite them, they will plead for you to stay home with them. They will tell you they had plans but decided to stay with you.

They will also guilt you into staying with them and canceling other plans to be alone with them. Simply, they don’t like to see you with anyone else or even know you’re with anyone else, even if it is perfectly innocent.

# They want you to feel jealous

Jealousy can make a kind, caring person vengeful. If they are feeling jealous because you’re giving attention to a new friend, a new job, or anything, they want you to feel the same.

If you go out, they will give attention to others and maybe even flirt in front of you. They feel embarrassed that you’re giving attention to someone other than them, so they will do the same to you, likely in public.

# They prefer you to dress down

This is a major sign of jealousy and control. If someone is jealous of the attention you get from other people, especially because of how you look, they will encourage you to dress down. They may claim you look better with no makeup or that sweats are more comfortable.

They may even get upset or angry when you take time to look nice because they don’t see why you’d dress up for anyone other than them.

# They overdo everything

Someone worried about losing you will love bomb you. They will overdo dates and spoil you with gifts. They might write romantic posts on social media. And they may even try to get you to commit or move in with them, thinking you’ll choose that over whatever else is taking your time.

They may move fast by talking to your family without your knowledge, planning surprise vacations, or even proposing to get some type of assurance.

# They want control

This could be minor or major. They could do anything from change plans to suit their needs to manipulating you into doing small chores. Anyway they know you will listen to them, and bending you to their will encourages them that you are still there for them.

Knowing they have this control can temporarily ease their jealousy until the next time you do something they don’t like.