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10 Important Relationship Rules That Matter
By: Kratika Wed, 04 May 2022 3:07:48
An open relationship is a tricky maze. It can seem like a lot of fun, but as with anything that seems too good to be true at first, it’s better to be prepared with the knowledge of the most important open relationship rules than to be sorry.
There are many couples who enjoy a perfect open relationship with their own partners. And they’re happy with their lives.
If you and your partner believe in the logic that sexual infatuation and love are two different emotions, well, an open relationship may work out just fine for you.
# Be prepared
When both of you have been in a relationship for a while, the prospect of having sex outside the relationship could seem like a heady rush.
But are both of you psychologically ready for it? If you jump into an open relationship when one of you isn’t prepared, your relationship could only lead to a breakup.
# Test the waters first
This is one of the big open relationship rules. Party with your own friends one night, or meet someone on a dating app, and hook up with someone you fancy.
The next morning, talk about your experiences with each other. How do both of you feel in the morning? Is there jealousy or insecurity in the air, or are both of you happy and excited for each other?
# Is it lust or a lifestyle change?
Sometimes, it could just be a buildup of sexual lust over the years that may lead to both of you believing that an open relationship is the best choice ahead. But at times, it takes a few anonymous shagathons to realize that you don’t like what you’re doing.
Try this test. Does the thought of an open relationship excite you both a few minutes after having sex with each other, even after both of you have climaxed? Sometimes, a horny rush makes you believe an open relationship is the answer to your sexual boredom. But if you don’t feel excited by the thought when you’re not horny, that’s something to consider.
If you don’t feel enthusiastic about sleeping with someone else when you’re not horny, you just have an imaginative mind that goes haywire only when you’re horny.
# Avoid mutual friends
If you’re still convinced that you’re ready for an open relationship, here’s a good rule to start off with. Always try to look for partners or sleep buddies who aren’t involved with your life in any way beyond sex. And keep it that way.
Make it seem like you’re having an affair to the person you’re sleeping with, but let your partner know the real truth.
By telling your friend with benefits that your partner knows about the relationship, they may try to get revenge or publicize your open relationship status to the world to get back at you at some point in the future.
Or worse, they may try to cozy up or intrude into your relationship in front of your partner, which just makes everything complicated.
The fact that you’re having an open relationship should be a well-guarded secret that stays between the two of you. To any other lover either of you is sleeping with, always make it seem like an affair. Remember this as one of the most important open relationship rules.
# Hide the details, don’t hide the people
An open relationship is a delicate balance between love, lust, and a lot of trust. By hushing things up, you’ll end up making your partner feel insecure which could damage the trust in the relationship.
It’s a sexual agreement between both of you, so don’t ever hide the people you’re involved with.
# Have sex, but don’t fall in love
This is hard, but it’s something you always need to remember. An open relationship is not a hall pass to fall in love with other people when you’re already committed in a relationship. Don’t stay over or get cuddly with your buddy.
Falling in love with someone else because you’re sexually infatuated by them will only complicate things further. Always remember that it’s sex and nothing but sex.
# Jealousy
This is one of the most difficult open relationship rules. You may get jealous of your partner, especially if you aren’t getting as much attention as your partner is.
Remember, it’s easy for a girl to get attention when she wants it. Most of the time, a guy has to work for the attention. Don’t let jealousy come in the way of this sexual arrangement.
# Don’t share your secret with the world
We’re all busy with our own lives. All of us have secrets, big and small. So, learn to keep it that way.
Telling everyone that you enjoy a perfectly happy open relationship may take the guilt or fear off your shoulders, but it can be embarrassing to both of you if others are not as understanding.
Share these secrets only with a few friends who won’t judge you but will understand your decision instead.
# Nothing changes in the relationship
Just because you’re having sex now and then with someone else doesn’t mean your relationship should change overnight. Don’t let it change and don’t let sex get in the way.
Work harder to let your partner know that there’s still a lot of love and sexual attraction in the air.
# Communicate
Without communicating, you might as well not even have any other open relationship rules. Don’t exchange all the horny details, but be aware of each other’s interests and partners. Tell your partner about all the people you’re sleeping with, and your partner should do the same.
And if some sexual partner of your partner bothers you, voice your thoughts. Be honest and communicate with each other if you want to enjoy this happy sexual arrangement with no hitches.