10 Reasons Why Sexting Is Kind Of Cheating

Today, most know what sexting is. Most are familiar with the term and what it implies, but for those of you who may not be aware, allow me to explain. Simply put, sexting is when someone sends another person sexual photos or messages via text message. If you are sexting with your spouse, then clearly this isn't cheating. If you are sexting someone you are casually seeing and aren't in a committed relationship, then I wouldn't consider this cheating either. However, if you are committed to a relationship, or have had the conversation agreeing to be monogamous, then be careful of sexting anyone who isn't your significant other. Some may say that sexting isn't cheating because, "nothing really happens." Well, I can tell you from personal experience that isn't necessarily the case and I'll share why. Whether you are sexting someone or have caught your spouse sexting, you will want to know why sexting is cheating and what you can do about it.

# Sexting makes you desire the person you're talking to more than the person you're with

There have been times I have been in relationships and have checked out and started talking to and sexting a couple guy friends I have. We have had a history, so it isn't necessarily out of the norm. My boyfriend at the time wasn't aware this was happening, but it was clearly a sign to myself that I was checking out of the relationship. When you are sexting with someone you begin to desire that person more and more. Sexting with your husband or wife could be a great way to spice up the relationship, but be careful of starting this type of communication with anyone else. If you begin to desire that other person more than your husband or wife sexually, it will slowly begin to affect the rest of your relationship. The same is true if you are in a dating relationship, so be aware.

# Sexting is cheating when it makes you fantasize about being with that person in reality

What makes sexting so hot is the fantasy that comes with it. You can't help but begin to imagine the person your talking to doing things to you, especially if they are describing what those things may be. Fantasizing about someone who isn't your spouse is dangerous, and most consider that cheating. Think of it this way, how would you feel if you caught your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend fantasizing about someone else? Would you be able to forgive them? Would it change the way you saw them or the way you made love to them?

# It distracts from the relationship you're in

To put it simply, when you are sexting with someone it's exciting! In a lot of ways. You look forward to that next text because you never know what may be there. So, you begin to start paying more attention to your phone and to their messages than your spouse. You are distracted and unable to give your spouse what they deserve. This is another reason that sexting is considered cheating. If you notice that you aren't giving your spouse the same attention you once did, especially in the bedroom, then you are cheating. The same goes for the attention your spouse is giving you. If your boyfriend is spending more and more time on his phone and is distracted by his messages, you may want to start asking questions.

# Sexting other people can build unhealthy expectations for the relationship you're in

Sexting creates fantasy which can lead to unrealistic expectations. This can happen before you even realize it, but it happens. As a sexting relationship continues, it will impact the expectations you have in your relationship, especially in the bedroom. Do you find yourself having expectations for your husband or boyfriend sexually that may not have been present before? This happens because we want to live out the fantasies that have been created, and typically they are fantasy because they don't happen. Has your boyfriend or husband started suggesting things happen in the bedroom or hold you to standards that weren't there in the past? These are all signs that sexting may be occurring, and has definitely crossed the line into cheating.

# It can cause you to become attached

Attachment is a big issue when it comes to cheating. If you are attached to the person you are cheating with, it's harder to end it and say good-bye. It's also harder for your spouse to truly be your primary focus. If you are sexting with someone, the likely hood that you will become attached to them is pretty high. You will crave the attention they give you, even if just through the phone. You crave who they have become in your life and what they fulfill. You become attached to them, and that is dangerous. It's hard to forgive, forget, and move on when you find out your spouse has been cheating and created an attachment so strong to someone else. When you are sexting someone, at least in my experience, you also text about other things. You will text and discuss life, relationships, and other things. Sexting becomes just a part of the relationship which will cause you to become more attached to them. Attachment is dangerous and is another reason why sexting is definitely cheating.

# Sexting can build resentment in the relationship you're in

As discussed, sexting can begin to build expectations that once weren't there. When your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend can't meet those expectations it can lead to resentment. It can also make the person who is sexting begin to resent their spouse because they aren't able to excite them like the person they sext.

# Builds barriers between you and your spouse

Sexting creates all kinds of emotions and thoughts. It can begin to create walls and barriers in a relationship that conventional cheating doesn't. This especially occurs if you sext when your spouse is near. While trying to hide what is going on, a wall is built between you and your spouse. Whether it is you sexting or your spouse, it begins to feel like you can see the person but can no longer hear them. Communication is off. Things just aren't the same. This is another reason that sexting is cheating, and for some it's hard for them to forgive when it gets to this point of affecting the relationship.

# If you are sexting while you are with your spouse, you're checked out of the moment

Sexting can create excitement, which is why it can be a great way to spice up your relationship. Sexting your husband or boyfriend will blow their mind! However, if you are sexting someone else when you are out with your boyfriend or husband you are checked out of the moment. You miss the opportunity to connect with your spouse because you are so wrapped up in what is on your phone. This is a big reason why sexting is considered cheating. If you are checked out of the moment and aren't able to focus on your relationship, then you are cheating. You are stealing time from your spouse. It's hard to admit, but it's true. Could you forgive your spouse if this is what was keeping them from focusing on you and your relationship?

# Sexting isn't always just about the words being sent

If we can all be honest, we have to admit that sexting isn't just about the words or pictures being sent. It's about how they make you feel. Those feelings are what takes you from something you may think is innocent to something that isn't. Does your husband or boyfriend stir up these same feelings? Do you want someone else stirring up feelings inside your spouse? Feelings are what make a relationship. It is the foundation, and feelings are definitely a part of sexting. Be careful of the feelings that are allowed to develop because it will be difficult to forgive once your spouse knows feelings are involved.

# You give your sexual attention to the person you're sexting, not the person you're dating or married to

Are you still giving your husband or boyfriend the same attention sexually? Are you still initiating things in the bedroom or do you leave that to them? If you are sexting, you may be getting everything you need sexually but they aren't. You are giving that other person your attention, while your husband or boyfriend is waiting for you to show your interest. If you are giving your sexual attention to someone else through sexting you will want to be careful. Not only is this one way that you will make your spouse begin to wonder what is going on, but you are also affecting an important part of your relationship with them. Once sexting affects the way you are sexually with your spouse, the more upset they will be, and the less likely they may be, to forgive you.