10 Signs You Are The One Who Is Spoiling The Relationship

Keeping a relationship isn’t simple and making it work can be really challenging especially if couples fail to see that something is slowly and effectively tearing them apart. What is more frustrating is when the very act of trying to make it better is actually the one thing that is making it worse.

This type of setting is a common scenario in toxic relationships. In definition, this kind of connection between two people, no matter how they love each other, can often lead to emotionally and psychologically traumatic outcomes. Most of the time, neither of them is aware of how their “love” is slowly destroying them until it’s too late.

We can all agree that the best way to solve a problem is to find what caused it in the first place. In problems concerning a relationship between two people in love, it’s not the question of “what” but it’s actually a matter of “who”.

Well, everything that has been said leads us to one equally important question that must be addressed: how would you know if you’re actually the one ruining it all? Are there signs that you’re the toxic one in your relationship? And if you find out you’re indeed the one, what can you do about it?

Luckily, we have the answers to your questions and hopefully, it’s not yet too late.

* Your world revolves around your partner

If you are investing all your time and energy in your partner and often forget that you do have to live a life outside your relationship, it can be unhealthy not only to your significant other but also to yourself.

The first rule of a healthy relationship is to give yourself and your significant other space to feel free and live independently. In other words, you don’t have to follow their every move and to monitor their day to day affairs.

* You easily say hurtful words when you’re angry

How are you when you’re angry? How do you handle arguments with your significant other? Are words, specifically hurtful words your strongest weapon? Even if you don’t mean them, these words can be so powerful that it can cause a deep and permanent emotional scar to your partner’s heart.

Never say something that you don’t mean and if you think the pain will just go away after a sincere apology, you’re wrong.

* You suggest a break up whenever things don’t go your way

Most of the time, you don’t mean it and you just want to get the reaction that you want to see and hear. Sometimes, people do this just to feel assured that they are still loved. Others do this to bring their confidence back. These are all selfish reasons and if your partner genuinely loves you, it’s torture and you need to stop it.

* Renovate your place and de-clutter

If your ex was a frequent visitor to your place, or you filled your room or office with your memorabilia or photos together, then be freed from the torture by renovating your house or workplace. Create a refreshing environment that is free from your memories together. Get rid of the photographs and other stuff that remind you of the past.

* Have a makeover

Now that you’re single again, think of it as an opportunity to be a new and different person. Reinvent yourself by changing your wardrobe, sporting a new hairstyle, and unleashing the inhibited part of your personality. Make it a goal that the moment you cross paths with your ex, s/he will see that your breakup has made you look younger and more dashing.

* Spend more time outdoor and engage in fun physical activities

Engaging in physical activities like sports can help release happy hormones. Also, being out in the nature can relax your mind and refresh your soul. For these reasons, decide to be involved in more outdoor activities that can help you be released from negative energy and emotions. You can go hiking, swimming, or cycling.

* Improve at your weaknesses or flaws

Maybe you blame your flaws for what happened to your relationship. Your ex probably told you it’s all your fault why s/he fell out of love with you. Don’t take it in. You may have your weaknesses, but your ex does too. So, don’t take all the blame. To prove your ex and yourself wrong, strive to overcome your flaws. If you don’t, you would end up being insecure in your next relationship.

* Enhance your strengths, so you can shine brighter

What are you good at? Knowing your best qualities will remind you of your worth. Therefore, accentuate your assets by improving them. Don’t just settle being a good worker, but aim to be the best employee. If you are a talented artist, create more remarkable crafts that can impress everyone. This will boost your self-esteem, and no rejection can put you down again.

* Be competitive at work or school

The best distraction for heartbreak is career. Busy yourself at school or work, and strive to be more active and responsible. Divert your attention to being productive, so you can forget about your pain. Convert your jealousy and bitterness to a competitive energy that can help you produce excellent outputs. Once you successfully excel in what you do, you feel better about yourself.

* You don’t let them be themselves

Do you try to control your partner’s life’s choices thinking that you know what is best for them? Do you undermine their ability to make good decisions? If you don’t let them be their ideal self, you are limiting them from being the best person they can be.

If you have been through this kind of situation, you’d agree that trying to save a toxic relationship is both complicated and emotionally exhausting. However, if you are currently trying to survive the same phase in your present relationship, it can be hard to pinpoint where the recovery should start but it’s possible if you would only just realize that maybe, just maybe, it’s you who should change.