10 Tips About How To Be Happy Without Friends
By: Kratika Wed, 07 Apr 2021 3:39 PM
It’s great to have friends, but sometimes it’s also nice to be alone.
The truth is that even extroverts can sometimes thoroughly enjoy their own company and solo adventures.
Then again there’s also the flip-side to that …
At certain times it can feel lonely and isolating to spend too much time alone or to find that you don’t have close friends.
In my case, I know that realizing I didn’t have close friends happened in the middle of a party at an old college buddy’s. I looked around at all the people slapping me on the back and joking around and realized a sobering truth:
None of these guys and girls are really my friends.
# Own your life
Comparing your life to that of other people or trying to live up to an ideal you imagine exists of friendship and social life is a recipe for misery.
It’s not that friendship doesn’t matter, but nobody’s life is some prefabricated cookie cutter.
The truth is that if you had the “vibrant” social life that many of your friends seem to have you might well be miserable: because the kind of friendships they have and that they value wouldn’t mean much to you.
# Find your purpose and pursue it
The powerful truth is that finding your intuitive expertise and gaining the ability to share your gift with the world goes a long way to combating loneliness.
Just the same way some of us can get trapped in looking for external fulfillment through romantic relationships, many of us can get lost pursuing fulfillment through friends validating and liking us.
The search to successfully find true love and intimacy in romance has many parallels with friendship.
# Be a bit less social on social media
There are a lot of good things about social media, from sharing great music, jokes, and personal news you care about to liking friends’ photos and celebrating success among your social group.
But social media can also be a real mirage.
People tend to present their “best selves” on various platforms and it can lead to deep feelings of inadequacy.
I know for myself that I’ve sometimes cruised social media for a few minutes and had the thought and feeling “why can’t I be normal and happy like those people? Why don’t I have a partner who looks as good as her?”
Try a break from social media for a couple of days and see what happens.
# Put down your phone
This is very connected to the last point but broader.
Your phone is an incredibly useful tool and a communication device that helps you stay in touch and share your life with others – as well as get your work down.
But being attached to your phone by an invisible cord leaves you as a slave to technology and the schedule and desires of others.
Your phone has a tendency to make you feel “connected” when you’re not actually connected.
In many cases, it can actually make you believe you have many friends when all you really have are some people to say “what’s up?” to now and then.
# Explore spirituality and religion
Whether you are interested in religion, spirituality, breathwork, or anything else in between, having some time away from the social circus can be an amazing opportunity to explore matters of the soul.
Friends are wonderful for sharing our feelings, experiences and time with, but they can also distract us from getting in touch with ourselves on an inner level.
When you have time alone and time where you are focusing on some solitude and reflection you have the opportunity to read, listen, and explore the deeper questions and experiences of humankind.
# Let your imagination run wild
We live in cultures that tend to prioritize always doing something, working toward something, and accomplishing something.
There’s no downtime, and it can often feel like your only real value is in what you can produce or do rather than just existence itself.
Just “be” and breathe.
Let your imagination run wild and picture beautiful images of peace, love, and tranquility.
# Spend some quality time on a date … with yourself
Dating can be exhausting, but here’s a secret dating hack that very few people know about.
When you go on a date with yourself you get to choose what to do, for how long, what to think about and you can also decide just how warm and fuzzy it gets.
Let’s not get too explicit here, but think of the possibilities.
You can go to your favorite restaurant and savor their milkshakes, listen to some music you love by the river parked in your car, and just enjoy the beauty of life.
Enjoy some quality with yourself: you’re going to be with yourself for a long time (until you die, actually and possibly even after depending on your beliefs) so why not get to know that sucker and appreciate him or her?
# Move it
Exercise, exercise. It can’t be overstated just how important exercise and fitness is.
When you get moving you pump out all sorts of endorphins and positive feedback loops that empower and energize you.
Even if you just start by doing a good stretch in the morning, you are putting action first and getting things moving.
There are all sorts of plans you can make in your head. But putting them into action in your body is an entirely different story.
Our body stores all sorts of trauma and blockages of energy and when you choose – through an act of will – to get it moving, things begin to happen.
Go to the gym or get running on the track.
# Make friends with the great outdoors
One of the best strategies for how to be happy without friends is to make friends with the great outdoors.
There’s something about hiking on a trail and smelling the forest and feeling rays of sunlight peek through the trees or canoeing on a lake as the water gurgles that’s restorative to your soul.
Scientific research also increasingly shows that spending time in nature can alleviate and prevent depression and emotional problems.
Instead of feeding feelings of insufficiency or loneliness, feed the sensation of completion and integration that you get in nature.
Feel your place in the biome, connected to everything around you …
Then imbibe that impression of fulfillment and solidarity deep into your bones.
# Look at the upsides
Being alone when you want to be is super, of course.
It’s being alone when you wish you had people and friends that’s the hard part.
During these times it can be easy to get dragged down if start thinking of the negatives and focusing on them.
For this reason, I recommend looking at the upsides: it’s one of the best ways when it comes to how to be happy without friends.
You can cook naked, sleep in, dance to the music you want to listen to without having to justify it to anyone (except maybe your annoyed neighbors if you live in an apartment complex).
More? You can read what you want, watch the shows and movies that you want, do what you want, spend time on a dating site chatting with those you might be interested in …
You can hone your skills, go play sports, design a tabletop board game or video game, make customized T-shirts and so much more.