10 Tips To Get Used To Being In A Relationship

You finally found someone you can see a future with but are now struggling with how to get used to being in a relationship. Here’s what you need to know.

I’ll bet you didn’t see that one coming. Just because you found someone you want a relationship with and they, you, doesn’t mean everything just falls into place. Being in a relationship can, at times, get very tricky even when you meet the right person.

Starting a relationship is an adjustment for anyone, especially someone who has been single for a long time.

You’re used to your time alone. You aren’t accustomed to checking in or worrying about someone else. And just because those things may not come naturally to you right off the bat doesn’t mean there is something wrong.

It takes time and patience to get used to being in a relationship. Even if you feel happy and like you’re thriving, making regular plans with someone and having the energy to be around someone constantly may be out of your normal routine.

But, with that, getting used to being in a relationship shouldn’t be stressful. It can feel that way though, if you jump into it without preparing for those changes and easing into them.

# Amping up your wardrobe

This may not be a concern for everyone. But when you’re in a fresh relationship, you still want to impress your partner with how cute you look. You may want to have a comfy night at home watching movies but you don’t want to look like a slob.

This doesn’t mean you need to be dolled up to cuddle on the couch. You can amp up what you’d do if you were alone with some subtle changes that make you feel more confident.

Toss in some dry shampoo, maybe throw on some tinted lip balm and perfume, and instead of your ratty PJ’s, wear a matching set or a color that flatters you.

# Missing your shows

This again is such a minor inconvenience but with how addicted so many of us are to our fandoms, it can feel like a big loss. If you have plans with your partner to watch a movie or go out on the night your favorite show airs, you’ll have to wait to watch it and avoid spoilers.

Sure, that’s annoying when you’re used to watching whatever you want whenever you want. But after spending quality time with your partner you won’t even think about what you’re missing.

And who knows, you may even be able to get them interested in your favorite stuff so you can watch together.

# Being clean

Yes, we are all basically clean most of the time, but you’re lying if you tell me you vacuum every week, regularly clean your toilet, and have never gone more than a day without a shower.

When you’re single, letting dust build up, having crumbs in your bed, or having greasy hair is just part of your week. But in a relationship, you want to be on your best behavior, especially at the start.

It seems like an annoying change, but let me share some personal insight. I hate cleaning. I like organizing but hate vacuuming and dusting. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, I would dread pulling out the vacuum and cleaning every time he came over.

# Having real meals

Living alone or just eating alone means you order take out or eat waffles and ice cream for dinner. There’s no shame in that. But when your new boo is over, you probably want to make a full on meal with protein and vegetables.

Instead of just eating whatever you want whenever you want, making that change can feel like you’re depriving yourself of treats. Instead, having a real and balanced meal with your partner brings you together, especially if you cook together.

It is also of course, healthier for your body. And no one says you can’t pig out on waffles and ice cream for dessert.

# Privacy

Losing your privacy when getting used to being in a relationship can be hard for lots of people, especially those who are private and have a past of controlling partners.

Inviting your new partner into your space lets them see your medicine cabinet, your phone, your DVR. Some of these things are more intrusive than others. But the best way to manage this change is to talk to your partner about boundaries.

# Gas

Gas, it happens. We’re all human and we have digestive tracts and things happen. Everything from burps to farts and more can be embarrassing, especially at the start of a new relationship.

You’d be surprised how many people have asked me when it’s okay to fart in front of your significant other. My answer would honestly be just let it loose. Everyone fart and poops. I know it’s awkward and weird to be that free with someone so soon. But holding it in isn’t good for you.

# Do boring stuff together

There are a lot of perks to being in a relationship. When you’re single and have to do chores or run errands, it is something you dread. But, once you’re in a relationship, you can actually make those dull things fun.

Going grocery shopping alone is sobering. But going together makes it like a little date. Running errands and cleaning the house with your partner reminds you that things are better with them.

# You’re sore

This depends only on your personal fitness and intimacy but getting back in the saddle when you’ve been alone for a while can trigger some sore muscles. You’re not used to being in certain positions and now you are.

Getting used to these activities again is an adjustment but I’m sure you would agree a worthwhile one. Plus, now you have a partner to give you massages.

# You need to be honest and vulnerable

This is one of the harder parts about getting used to being in a relationship. When you’re single, you’re just you. But in a relationship, when you have a bad day, feel off, or are really struggling, you have someone to open up to. This can be amazing. You have someone to lean on.

But, for someone not used to being vulnerable, it can be scary to start sharing. It can also be hard being honest with someone when it could cause friction.

# Things are progressing

Things are getting more serious. Maybe you’re meeting their friends or family, or they want to meet yours. This is a big step and hitting those milestones can feel really intense. Introducing someone you’re dating into your inner circle comes with a lot of fears.

The best way to handle this change is to tell your partner how you feel. Let them know it feels fast for you or that you’re nervous about a certain step. They should understand and work with you so you’re both comfortable.