11 Real Reasons Why Your Relationship Is Drifting
By: Kratika Mon, 27 June 2022 5:07 PM
A few relationships happily stand the test of time. So, if your relationship is drifting, you’re not alone.
Usually, they start out perfectly, but somewhere along the way, the lovers start to drift away and fall apart even before either of them realizes what’s happening.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you love your partner, but surprisingly, don’t see a future with them?
Several lovers experience the same feeling, where they love their partner but can’t imagine getting married to them or living through the rest of their life with them.
Experiencing this kind of relationship can be really stressful, because you may want to break up, but have no idea why you want to do that in the first place!
Communication is by far the single biggest aspect that holds lovers together or tears them apart. Do you still talk to your lover the same way you once did at the start of the relationship? And do you know how to work through your disagreements in a healthy, effective manner?
People change with time, and you may assume you know everything about your lover, but chances are, they’ve changed and they’re not the same person you once met several years ago.
When you start to take communication for granted in a relationship, it’s only a matter of time before the inevitable drift takes control of the relationship.
# Suppressed emotions
Does your partner ever tell you to dream big, quit your job, and find something better, or anything else that makes you feel small and weak? How do you react to it?
Do you communicate with your partner and express just how you feel about their ideas, or do you subtly grind your teeth, roll your eyes and just nod your head to get away from a discussion?
Many couples drift apart, not because they don’t love each other, but because they suppress just how they truly feel about the things their partner says. Your partner would assume they’re communicating with you, but instead, your relationship is drifting.
And you, on the other hand, would tell yourself that your partner can never understand you. Can a relationship ever work when such confusions play out every single day?
This could happen over the years, or immediately after the infatuation period. If you start to believe that both of you have nothing in common, you’ll only feel worse over time. And what starts off as a nagging worry may end up leading both of you away in opposite directions.
If you want a relationship to work, it’s always best to test your compatibility at the very beginning of the relationship, instead of trying to sculpt your lover into your idea of the perfect mate over time.
# Emotional affairs
You spend a lot of time at work. But somewhere along the way, have you started getting really close to a colleague or an old friend of yours *of the opposite sex*? Sometimes, you may never even realize it, but you may be confiding more to a friend than your own spouse or lover.
It may not seem like much now, but there’s a thin between friendship and emotional affairs. And if you’re in an emotional affair, you’re setting your relationship up for doom. And that could be one of the biggest reasons your relationship is drifting.
In a successful relationship, both partners have to take an active interest in pleasing each other and making the other person happy. When you don’t take initiative in love, both of you may start to take each other for granted, and the relationship would start to stagnate.
Go out on vacations, plan crazy dates, tease each other and have fun. And most importantly, try to create memories every day. It’s the easiest way to take the initiative and show just how much you care.
# Life directions
As time goes by, both of you may pursue different interests in life. One of you may want something, while the other lover may want something completely different. For a while, the relationship may still seem happy and perfect.
If you believe your relationship is perfect, even if both of you don’t go out or do anything new, while your partner believes they’re stuck in a suffocating rut, these are differences that can make both of you drift away to the point of no return.
Do you avoid confrontations? Many lovers avoid all kinds of confrontations all the time. They just put up with anything their partner says and sulk about it behind their partner’s back.
If you’re tired of fighting it or discussing anything sensitive with your partner, you’re probably tired of the relationship or have given up on its success already.
# Sexual intimacy
Sex is a very important part of romance and love. If you’re not having enough sex, or not trying hard enough to keep the sexual excitement on a high, you’d find yourself bored with your relationship in no time.
You may think you’re content with the lack of sexual intimacy, but in reality, that’s because both of you are turning into siblings instead of a romantic couple!
# Emotional intimacy
Do you still connect with your partner emotionally? Is your partner the first person you want to share your good news with? Do you feel happy just talking to your lover or telling them about your day?
These are little things that don’t seem like much, but they play a big part in holding a relationship together and preventing a relationship from drifting. The lack of emotional intimacy in romance will force one or both of you into an emotional affair or at times, a sexual affair too.
# Lack of time for each other
We work really hard these days. And at times, we don’t have more than an hour or two to spend with our lover, what with work and all the hanging out with friends. At first, both of you may miss each other.
But as the months pass by, both of you will learn to live without each other. And before either of you know it, both of you as individuals would be completely capable of leading your own lives without having the other person in it.
And once neither of you has the need for the other person, it’s inevitable that both of you will drift away from each other.