11 Reasons Why Do Women Stay In Abusive Relationship

Why do women stay in abusive relationships? No matter the reason, abuse comes in many forms—physical, sexual, emotional, psychological. It also affects all genders. But, statistically, women are predominantly the ones that suffer from it the most.

So many people are subjected to it, because it’s easy to fall prey to abusive behavior. Once stuck in that cycle it’s difficult to leave. An abuser systematically breaks down your spirit, confidence, self-worth, and opinions of themselves over a long period of time, to the point where you distrusts your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

After a while, they replace these personal characteristics with despair, heartbreak, disappointment, self-loathing, and doubt. Making you easier to manipulate and feeling as though you must stay with them because you’re worthless to anyone else.

Unfortunately, there is still a huge stigma attached to abuse. Too often a lot of victim blaming still occurs. It’s a difficult subject to tackle, and often leads to many people asking, Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

# They feel trapped

So why do women stay in abusive relationships? Well, many women feel like they can’t leave or have an obligation to stay. Sometimes it is for reasons like their partner emotionally blackmails them by saying they’ll commit suicide if they leave or that no one else will love them.

This psychological torment convinces them that it’s better to stay and deal with their circumstance than risk it and go.

# They still want to believe that they’re loved

They may still be genuinely convinced that their abuser loves them. Or their partner just has a different way of showing love. The abuser switches between showering them in false devotion and affection and horrific abuse. It gets to the point where the abused believes this is the love they deserve.

# They fear for their lives

Abuse is no joke. It often leads to women being terrified to leave in case their partner turns violent. Every day around three women are murdered by a current or former male partner. Leaving without repercussions is difficult for an abused women.

# They don’t want a failed marriage

There are many women who simply cannot go because they share children with, or are married to, the abuser. In this situation, they hate the idea of going through the painful, expensive process of divorce. They also don’t want to put their children through a separation or, worse, leave them behind.

# Maybe this time he’ll change

After suffering extended mental manipulation and so many failed attempts at leaving, some women often hope that this time will be different.

They cling desperately to the hope that the man they love will come to his senses that they believe his lies when he claims he’s capable of change.

# They blame themselves

Most abused people are subjected to prolonged destruction of their self esteem. They repeatedly hear they’re the one at fault for any problems that arise in the relationship.

They often hear, “I’m only doing this because of what you said/did/wore/wrote.” After a while they’re so brainwashed they just assume they’re wrong.

# Total reliance on their partner

Some abusers manipulate their partner into codependency and reliance on them. Many abused women who don’t have solid, full time jobs rely solely on their partner to be the bread-winner in the house. Sometimes the abuser controls what money their partner accesses, making it more difficult to leave.

# They feel pressured by others

Pressure to remain in a toxic relationship doesn’t always come from the abuser. Sometimes it comes from friends and family.

At times it’s easier for people to dismiss typically abusive behaviour when they’re not in the relationship. They say things like: “He’s probably not that bad,” “He’s never been horrible to me,” or “I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

# Fearful they won’t be believed

Many cases of abuse go unreported and unpunished because often when women come forward they aren’t believed. Unless you document evidence every day, there’s no proof other than bruises or scars.

And if you’re emotionally abused, there’s rarely any physical evidence to use. It sadly becomes a case of your word against your abuser’s.

# They still love them

When you haven’t been in an abusive relationship, it seems crazy to still love your abuser, but it’s incredibly common. It’s almost like Stockholm Syndrome where you feel like you still see something in them that redeems all the things they put you through.

I was finally strong enough to leave an abusive relationship when I realized love alone wasn’t enough to keep us together. [Read: The 15 types of toxic relationships you need to watch out for

# They’ve already tried and failed

There are too many cases to count of women who left their abuser, only to be tracked down and beaten, threatened, or sweet-talked into coming back. Leaving often has repercussions, especially in physically abusive relationships, so many women don’t attempt it.