16 Ways To Help You Avoid Divorce

Marriage problems such as frequent arguments, infidelity and the feeling of growing apart can start to feel like there's nothing that can be done to keep your marriage from falling apart. Fortunately, there are actually many things you can do to make things better. We're going to share over 40 ways you can adapt to save your marriage and avoid a nasty divorce.

# Make a list of problems to discuss

In the heat of the moment, it can be easy to forget some of the topics you want to discuss. Making a list can also help you to decide what you want to say, and the best way to express yourself so that the discussion can be constructive rather than melting down into an angry argument. Remember that even if things feel hopeless, tackling the issues one at a time can pave the way towards a solid relationship.

# Take a little time for yourself

It may help to get out for a while or at least find a quiet place to center yourself when you start to feel hopeless. Go somewhere calming or get in a hot bath and consider what you want and how you want to go forward with regard to any problems or obstacles in your marriage. Even in the heat of severe marriage problems, taking care of yourself is still important!

# Be honest with yourself about what's wrong

Honesty is necessary if you and your significant other are going to solve any problems. Think of it as like hiding a wound from the doctor. If they can't see the full extent of the problem, then they can't effectively fix it. If your significant other doesn't know everything that is bothering you, they won't know what needs to be resolved or to what extent they may need to go to help resolve it.

# Express your concerns in a constructive way

Be open about what you're feeling, but make sure not to place blame or make it sound as though you bare no responsibility for anything that might be wrong. Otherwise, your partner may feel attacked and get defensive, which could lead to an argument that could damage the relationship rather than save it.

# Learn to manage anger

It's natural to feel angry, but there's a difference between expressing your anger in a healthy way and misdirecting anger that wasn't caused by your significant other. If you've had a rough day, it's perfectly okay to not be in the best mood and to let your partner know that you're angry but don't take it out on them.

# Learn to manage stress

Stress can cause tempers to run short. It may leave you feeling exhausted, irritable or hopeless. Taking care of yourself with regard to stress can do wonders to save your relationship. If that means you need a few minutes to yourself so that you can relax, that's perfectly okay. It's better to take some time to yourself for emotional care than to potentially lash out at your significant other because you're feeling stressed.

# Remember you're both only human

Neither of you is capable of immediately solving all of the problems in the relationship, and you shouldn't be expected to. It's important to keep in mind that human beings are flawed creatures and can sometimes behave in less than healthy ways. Don't be too rough on yourself or your partner for making small mistakes.

# Open up the lines of communication

Being open and honest with your partner is crucial in saving your relationship and allowing a trust to build. It's best to avoid keeping secrets or behaving in suspicious ways that might make your partner feel as though the relationship isn't secure, regardless of whether the secrets are small or on the level of infidelity. Trust is essential for keeping the relationship from falling apart.

# Re-center yourself as a team

Being married means you're part of a team. This can be easy to forget when there are problems in the marriage and one of you starts to feel like you're on opposite sides. The goal is for both of you to be working towards saving the relationship, as it takes two people dedicated to that cause to keep it afloat. If one side isn't putting in the effort, things can fall apart quickly.

# Make decisions together

Making big decisions unilaterally can send the message to your partner that you don't care what they think or how they feel. If you're making a decision on something that will affect both members in the relationship, then it's best for you both to share your input and make that decision together.

# Decide what's important to you as a couple

Different couples can view things a little differently, for example, one couple might decide that trust is the most important thing in a relationship while others might think it's honesty. One couple might want children and another might not. It's important that as a couple, you agree on what things are important to you. Otherwise, things can go unsaid and assumed, leaving one side to find out there are large differences later on.

# Make time for each other

When you have a busy schedule, it can be easy to focus in on getting your tasks done and trusting that at the end of the day, your partner will be there. This kind of thinking can lead to taking your partner for granted, even if you may not mean to. Make sure you stop from time to time, send them a text or pause for a conversation that lets them know they mean a lot to you.

# Set up date nights

Date nights are a great way to get some alone time with your partner. One night a week or so, send the kids to a babysitter and take the time to do things you enjoy together. This might include some fine dining, seeing a movie, or even letting your wild sides lose in the bedroom. A little time can really go a long way toward keeping your relationship from falling apart.

# Remember the importance of intimacy

Intimacy is what allows you to really connect as a couple, both on an emotional and physical level. Without it, the relationship can easily start to feel hopeless. If one side isn't getting the intimacy they desire, it can also lead to infidelity. It can be easy to forget that intimacy does require effort, especially later into the marriage and when you're in the midst of juggling jobs, children and other responsibilities.

# Remember what you like about each other

Remember those days when you couldn't stop thinking about your significant other because you were so infatuated with them? What was it about them that made you feel that way? It helps to remember the qualities you adore in your partner so that you can appreciate them fully.

# Learn how to resolve arguments in a healthy way

It can be easy to get caught up in the same arguments over and over, saying the same things and being unable to get it resolved. This isn't a productive way of handling things. It can help greatly to learn how to settle down and bring the argument to a complete conclusion so that it can be put away and the two of you can move forward together rather than allowing resentment to grow.