4 Tips To Help You Get Back To Online Dating

Most people have at least a few bad online dating experiences. Maybe you were outright catfished or you were expecting Mr. Wonderful to have a full head of hair based on his photos, but those and his built muscles were circa 2009, not 2019. Maybe you just didn’t find what you were looking for and decided to take an all-out break. Whatever the reason, getting back on the dating horse, can fill you with anxiety and dread.

You might find yourself getting sweaty just thinking about who you’ll match with, having to wait to see who is going to message who first, or trying to think of anything less boring to say as an online dating opener than, “Hi! I like your photos!” And I haven’t even mentioned the actual date part.

# Go on a lot of dates

Terrible dates happen, and this becomes obvious when you go on a lot. But it doesn’t bug you so much. If you go on one date a month, that one date will have a lot more weight and influence than if you went on one date every weekend.

It will seriously bum you out if that one date was terrible. But if you know it won’t be your only date this month because you’re already planning on going on several, then you know that you can just as easily forget how bad that one was and move on to being excited about your next one.

# Don’t waste your time

Up your screening game. Make sure, first, that you know what you’re looking for, make sure they’re looking for the same, and be clear up front.

It may sound shallow, but it can also help if you choose to meet your dates at locations that aren’t super out of your way. Think about choosing public places near where you live or work, so if the date ends up being phenomenally terrible, you only waste an hour plus maybe fifteen minutes getting there and back.

# Start small

There’s nothing wrong with having a coffee date or just meeting for an adult beverage to start with. Dates don’t have to be a big ordeal, and if you’re planning on tackling many in a certain length of time, it takes away some of the stress or expectation around them to start small. You can get to know each other in a casual setting, and leave dinners or more involved dates for people you actually see something with

# Be yourself

If they’re the one, they’ll like you for you. If they’re not, you don’t want to bother trying to impress them anyway. Show up wearing clothes you like and feel good in. Agree to do things that you want to do, even if it may be a little out of your comfort zone.

The thing about scheduling a lot of dates when you’re trying online dating again is that you develop those small-talk and meeting new people muscles again. You get to practice talking about yourself in a concise manner and learning how fun it is to get to know someone new again. Knowing that you’re meeting new people and that it can be okay to just meet new people instead looking specifically for your soulmate puts less pressure on each new match.