5 Activities To Make Siblings Bond Strong

Have you ever said: “Please never put his foot in your mouth” or “Jumping over the baby isn’t a funny game”?

If so, you must be the Mama of siblings. I truly feel that having multiple children is wonderful. But there are certainly unique challenges. One of which is helping to create strong sibling relationships.

Everyone expects children to squabble. Remember the DEFCON 1–level tantrum you threw when your younger sister gave Barbie a Grace Jones flattop? But as we grow up, most of us hope to achieve détente or, better yet, a meaningful connection with our sisters and brothers. Unfortunately, that’s not always easy. In researching my second book on family dynamics, I interviewed nearly 100 men and women about how they got along with their siblings and found that most people wanted those relationships to improve—whether they were already pretty close or barely spoke. The trouble was, they didn’t know how to make it happen. Here are 5 suggestions on how to forge a more perfect union.

* Super Messy Play

One of the main differences in our house between the adults and the children is level of enjoyment out of messy things.I am all for messes for the sake of fun and learning. But, being completely honest, I would be perfectly fine without participating in ‘slime’, ‘gloop’, or ‘gluck’ activities.

However my kids, I do believe, may perish without being able to get crazy messy. So my wee ones bond over their utter love for playing with (messy and kind of gross) doughs. It doesn’t really matter what their mutual interest is, find whatever it may be for your kids – and jump all over it! Even if it means you have kids with slime in their beds.

* Make Birthdays a Big Deal

We do big birthdays in our house. Not big in cost or style just big on celebrating our special birthday boy or girl.In our house, it is their one very special day to be all about them. They get to choose dinner, games, activities, special snacks, everything! And we aim to spend the whole day making, doing, and being as a family.

Since our focus is on activities and time, we don’t get too much jealousy as everyone is participating. And since everyone has a birthday, everyone knows they get a special day too. Each brother or sister has a full day to think about and appreciate the birthday boy or girl.

* Family Time

Spending time together as a family is a wonderful way for siblings to bond.

Going on outings, having many experiences, and spending lots of time as a complete family (whatever that may look like for you) is important for bonding. It will give your wee ones memories and lots of “remember when!” opportunities. We have many traditions that we do every year in the hopes that when our wee ones get older they will still want to participate in these family outings.

* Get out of the Dodge

Back in the day, a family vacation meant dividing the backseat with masking tape. Now a trip with the sibs means choosing your own destination and, thank God, travel arrangements. Wherever you go, skip the spa (bonding is unlikely when you’re swaddled in banana leaves) and try to eat at least two meals together.

* Quit being jealous

Maybe your best friend and her sister routinely send each other homemade cookies. Or your husband and his "Let’s have a group hug!" siblings make the Waltons look like the McCoys. When you witness others sharing tight ties with their brethren, it can be easy to devalue your own relationship—if, say, exchanging birthday cards constitutes meaningful contact between you and your sister. Remember, though, that there are different depths to each bond and that somewhere inside that group hug, someone is usually dropping an elbow.