5 Major Signs Your Marriage Is Going Through A Crisis

But how do you recognize that what you are going through is urgent or acute enough to be called a crisis. Is marriage crisis a feeling? If yes, then what does it feel like when a marriage is in crisis? You start feeling that you are very distant from each other, or you feel misunderstood all the time. You may be in the same room, you may be sleeping together, but there is a lot of distance, and there is nothing which can be done about it. In a nutshell, the connection is lost.

Everyone, who is in any kind of partnership, is faced with challenges. But a crisis is an acute stage of a relationship challenge. There could be many types of crises in a marriage. It is possible that the difficulties collected and compounded overtime, so that they are too big to overcome now. Or, a couple is faced with a sudden, huge challenge in the form of an unprecedented trauma. For example, the death of a child, or the revelation of a past secret, or a financial setback.

# Criticism

Constantly criticizing the other person, their clothes, their hair, their habits and mannerism, their skills such as cooking, or the money they make, is a clear indication you are in the red zone of a crisis. It is an attack on the identity or the sense of self of the other person. It is a behavior that has no other purpose than to cause hurt.

It is important to note that criticism and complaint are two different words. Voicing concerns or complaints, when done effectively, is constructive behavior. Complaints are about issues that need to be addressed. But criticism when done constantly, feels like a personal attack to the person it is intended toward.

# Contempt

Constant criticism is always followed by contempt. It is a predictable pattern. When the dose of criticism gets high enough, the person who is showing contempt has automatically switched to being mean and disrespectful.

We complement this toxic behavior by using sarcasm, mockery, ridicule, and showing disrespect. If you find yourself talking contemptuously to your partner, watch yourself, because that either puts a marriage in crisis, or is a sign of a marriage crisis.

# Defensiveness

Being defensive is a natural response to feeling attacked. If you or your partner find yourself constantly playing the defense, it is highly likely that the person is feeling attacked. But a defensive response in the face of a valid concern serves no purpose other than blaming the partner in a passive-aggressive fashion. When you are defensive, all you want is to justify your own truth.

# Stonewalling

Stonewalling is the last stage of this series of fatal behavior patterns of a relationship. It happens as a response to all of the above. In this stage of the relationship, overwhelmed with negative behavior and communication patterns, a person simply withdraws and refuses to respond. This is called stonewalling.

# Abuse

Signs of a crisis in a relationship is sadly incomplete without abuse. Physical, emotional, sexual, verbal abuse. Abusive relationships are toxic and must come to an end.

If you or your partner is experiencing abuse at the hands of the other, it is a clear indication that your relationship is in deep trouble. Abuse is a pattern and frequently repeats itself. The willingness and the capacity to repeatedly cause harm to the other person is a clear demolition of the foundation of a relationship, and must be taken seriously.