5 Reasons Why You Should Break Up From An Unhealthy Marriage

Someone wise once said that Bollywood has much more to offer us than trashy item numbers and stalker-turned-heroes. The same someone, also known as good old me, believes that a lot of life’s lessons can be learned from the twisting and heart-breaking tales of love and hatred that the industry gave us.

One such lesson came in the form of the movie Dear Zindagi, where India’s forever-crush Rahul-naam-toh-suna-hi-hoga a.k.a. Shahrukh Khan offered us some life-changing advice. It is okay to fall in love with a lot of people, he assured us. It is also okay to fall out of love with these people. It is only natural.

Sometimes it is meant to be, sometimes it just isn’t. After all, people take so much time in choosing a mere chair, sitting on various ones and trying to judge what fits exactly. So, of course, you are allowed to take time when choosing someone you are going to spend a lifetime with.

# You will never be fully happy

It is true that all relationships require adjustments and compromise. But when your entire relationship is just based on putting up with each other when you don’t want to, you will never be truly and fully happy. Both of you will try to find happiness somewhere else, in work or affairs.

While distracting yourself can help to an extent, you still have to eventually live with someone that you are unable to make things work with. You will see the nasty sides of each other and resent coming home at the end of every day. An unhappy marriage means a lifetime of this misery and, as the saying goes, life is too short for that shit.

# It will start to affect your mental health

You might think that making society and your parents happy by marrying someone they approve of but you don’t particularly love is not such a bad idea. But, believe me, no one is ever ready for the life of misery that follows. After all, humans are self-centered creatures. And to an extent, we should be.

If we do not take care of our own happiness, it will start affecting our mood and mental health. Pleasing other people is not going to get us anywhere.

# You will start to lose yourself in an unhappy marriage

If you are in denial and continue to be in a loveless marriage, you will at some point start to lose yourself. Since you defied your basic instinct by choosing something or someone else over your own happiness, you will never be fully comfortable. Even if you can’t point out exactly what is bothering you, you will start getting pissed about the tiniest and strangest things and end up being an eternally cranky person.

# You will start resenting your partner and yourself

If the reason you are choosing to stay in the marriage is that you have this fear of society’s and your partner’s expectations, sooner or later you will not only start resenting your partner and society but yourself for being such a wimp. And that’s definitely not a happy feeling.

You will have angry outbursts and you may take it out on your partner in ways that are unfair to them. There certainly are many conflict resolution strategies that you can try but a part of you will cling to all the negative thoughts you have harbored.

# Your children will bear the brunt of your fights

Since neither of you will be happy in a particularly sucky marriage, you will fight a lot. Each will bring out the other’s nastiest side. And guess who has to put up with all this nastiness? Your children. If you have any, that is.