5 Signs That Show Your Long Term Relationship Is Ending

When you’ve been dating someone for years, the natural progression for most couples is to get married. Sure, there are lots of relationships where couples decide they don’t want to make their love official, but when you decide not to get married and stay life partners, that’s a decision both people make together. If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for several years with the expectation of one day getting married but things don’t seem to be heading that way, when is it the right time to move on?

A long-term relationship break up can be hard, especially if you’ve invested so much time with someone but feel like you’re on a hamster wheel. So to help you stop watching the wheel go round and round, here are 5 signs it’s time to walk away from your long-term relationship.

* You always make excuses why you’re staying

“He’s not that bad… She has her strong points… These are common statements I hear from clients,” says relationship expert, David Bennett. “What they usually tell me is that they know the relationship is over, but can’t face it. If you have fundamental value differences, or just don’t get along, you’ll likely make excuses for your failing relationship a lot.” When you’re having doubts but aren’t ready to walk away yet it’s natural to try and convince yourself that you’re staying for a reason.

* You only evaluate the relationship from a past and future perspective

“You rely on memories of past moments or fantasies of potential future moments with your partner to define your stability and happiness in the relationship instead of evaluating the relationship in its more present status,” explains Jen Wilding, a relationship coach and author of Steal His Heart, Save Your Life (just not in that order).

* The bad outweighs the good

Some people wake up every day angry at their significant other, resenting the thought of engaging them. “Occasionally they’ll have a good moment, which makes them momentarily forget the daily, regular resentment. If this is how your relationship goes, you need to make a decision: either get help and make it work, or understand it’s probably time to leave,” says Bennett.

* They told you they don’t want to move forward

He/she has told you directly or indirectly that marriage is not something that they want but you still hold on thinking you may be able to change their mind. When someone says they’re not interested in marriage, believe them. “If you have the personality of a people-pleaser you’ve probably been in situations where you gave and gave but did not get back. That personality leads you to put aside what you really want, think, feel, or need for the sake of the relationship,” explains psychologist and author, Dr. Paul Coleman.Once you realize this is how you’re acting in a relationship, it’s time to walk.

* He/she always has a reason for not advancing the relationship

The reasons your partner gives may seem sound but the bottom line is that nothing is changing. “It should be a priority to advance the relationship if that’s what you really want,” says Coleman. “Meanwhile, you tell yourself you would have moved on already if only (you didn’t love him/her, you didn’t own property together, you felt more self-confident). It’s your fears holding you back, not love or wisdom.”