5 Things To Keep In Mind When Dating Someone With Low Self Esteem

Someone with low self-esteem can really drive a relationship to become unhealthy or dysfunctional. Of course, this is not on purpose, but dating someone with low self-esteem takes even more communication and honesty than most relationships.

We all deal with self-esteems issue now and again. We wonder if we are doing enough at work or in our relationships. We second guess everything from our outfit choices to life choices.

But, having occasional low self-esteem and someone struggling with chronic low self-esteem are very different.

# You have low self-esteem

Two people with low self-esteem dating is a recipe for disaster. If you both struggle to believe in yourselves, then the relationship may easily become your measure of happiness. When struggling with low self-esteem, people tend to look outside themselves for reassurance and acceptance.

But, to find confidence, that has to come from within. A relationship where both people are depending on the other for their happiness and acceptance rather than themselves can lead to a lot of jealousy, dysfunction, and co-dependence.

In fact, if you struggle with self-esteem issues, dating someone with low self-esteem can actually make you question yourself even more so.

# You don’t understand low self-esteem

As I mentioned earlier, we have all struggled with low self-esteem at some point in our lives. That means we all have at least a basic understanding of how it feels to doubt yourself. But, if you can’t put yourself in your partner’s shoes, it can be hard to live with.

Someone that is highly confident may not be able to understand why someone they view so highly doubts themselves so much. It is a lot like dating someone with anxiety when you’ve never felt it. You just want to tell someone to relax, but it is not that simple.

You may want to tell your partner how amazing they are and expect them to view themselves differently, but that isn’t how it works. And if you cannot understand that and the work it will take for them to gain confidence, this relationship is not a good idea.

# You have little patience

Dating someone with low self-esteem requires an immense amount of patience. Not only do they need reassurance constantly, but they may need extra attention.

If you cannot put in the time and effort they need to feel safe in the relationship, it can become very difficult to maintain. Not only will they feel worse about themselves, but you may begin to feel highly frustrated with their needs which can lead to resentment.

# You think they need your approval

Yes, dating someone with low self-esteem requires patience, respect, and understanding, but first and foremost, you have to know that your partner does not need your approval or acceptance. What they need is to work on accepting themselves.

Acceptance from you may seem nice and cheer them up on occasion but until they believe the compliments you give them, they will continue to struggle. If you wonder why your endless praise isn’t changing their view, that is why.

# You’re bad at open communication

You must be able to talk about the hard stuff and truly listen to your partner without judgment to successfully date someone with low self-esteem.

You have to let them explain all they can about where their issues come from and how you can best make them comfortable. And you also should be able to let them know your limits. You cannot put all the effort in to please them and make sure they’re okay. Relationships are give and take, and you have to be on the same page.