5 Things You Can Say To Your Child In Place Of Saying Stop Crying

What’s the first thing you say when your child is crying? I used to yell: “Stop crying! No crying! Stop now!” Then I realised, not only was yelling not helping the situation, my child was being robbed of the opportunities to learn to communicate and regulate his emotions.

Children experience a whirlwind of emotions throughout the day. All the feelings they experience are valid – it is part of their growth and development. Just like the characters in the movie Inside Out , every emotion has a purpose!

Most of the time, children end up crying when they cannot find the words to express themselves, control their impulses, or analyse the situation. This is because their prefrontal cortex is not fully developed.

It's not their fault!Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of our kids.Imagine you are very upset about something at work and feeling very emotional. Would you prefer your husband say, “Hey, tell me about it” or “Stop crying, it’s a small issue”? Which is more helpful? Which response makes you feel loved and supported? I would definitely prefer the former.

When your child is emotional, irrational or out of control, that is when they need you the most. They can’t stop the big feelings because they are just not able to regulate their emotions. Their brains are not ready!

Here are 5 phrases to provide support and let your child know that you are fully present:

- I will be here for you.

- You have my listening ear. Tell me about it when you are ready.

- Let me help you.

- If you need a hug, my arms will always welcome you.

- Let’s work on this problem together.