5 Tips For Adults To Maintain Good Relationship With Their Parents

As you step into adulthood, the dynamics of your relationship with your parents changes. However, as the saying goes, ‘Old habits die hard’. So much time is spent in the parent-child during childhood that breaking away from the ‘norms’ of that relationship can be difficult. As you turn into adult and get prepared to handle independent responsibilities, several things need to change including your relationship with your parents. If things remain the same as they were during your childhood, they can lead to disapprovals, disagreements, arguments and disappointments. Disapproval of parents can be difficult to deal with and can cause guilt which holds us back in life without us even realizing it.

Developing an adult relationship with your parents will not only strengthen your familial bond but also set you free from this guilt.

Here are 5 tips which can help you make the transition and help you develop and adult relationship with them.

* Remember that it’s okay to disagree

We we're little, it can seem like our parents know everything and therefore are always right. It is important to remember that given the changing times and scenarios, parents can be wrong as well. In such situations, it is best to agree to disagree. You can argue the relativity of how something that wasn’t right in their times is acceptable and right now, but until you demonstrate it, the arguments are a colossal waste of your time and theirs.

* If you think you’re right, take a stand for yourself (Be responsible and take accountability)

Let us first clarify that this is not about being a rebel. It is important to acknowledge to yourself first that you are an adult and you can handle your shit. If you present yourself as a child seeking approval, you indirectly show them that they still need to supervise you. Learn first to take responsibility for your life and accountability for your actions. If you think that what you are doing is right and wouldn't accept something from someone your own age, you shouldn't accept it from your parents either. And of course, if in the end it all blows up in your face, be ready to take a stand for yourself for that as well.

* Acknowledge their limitations

Life is all about learning and learning requires space. If you and your parents can't talk about everything or they don't completely "get" you, don't force it. If you have spent 20 years of your life learning and adapting things, they have spent 20 years to learn and adapt as parents too. They might not know everything. For example, you might be well versed with the latest technology which your parents know nothing of, in such a situation, it is time you help them in their journey to learn things.

* Resist getting defensive

When your parents give you unsolicited advice or criticism, getting defensive may come as a natural response. Resist it! Defending yourself can give their words more power, so, try something different… acknowledge their advice or better still, agree with them! It is not only a better way to show that you regard their opinion, but also helps you make a room for them to accept your way of doing things. For instance,

Mom: “Why don’t you wear more traditional clothes? You look so much prettier in them!
You: “You know what Mom, I think you might be right.”
End of discussion. You make a point that you can wear what you please but you respect your mother’s opinions as well!

* Be mindful in your conversations

Being mindful of how you say things and when you say it comes as a part of adulthood. It is important to be patient in your conversations. Remember that not every remark or question from your parents requires a quip retort. Take some time to absorb what is being said to you and take extra care to think before you speak. Choose your words wisely, being an adult is about taking care of your parents and their feelings as well. Remember how your parents were patient with you when you were growing up, adulthood is the time to repay them and to try to have as much patience with them as you can.