5 Tips For Parents To Let Your Children Know You Are Proud Of Them

There is no more difficult dichotomy in philosophy. We are encouraged as parents to help, but the other side of the coin helping children be humble and modest about their accomplishments is an important character trait and practice as well. Figuring out how to let our children know we are proud of them can be a delicate balance. Too few expressions of praise leave kids feeling bad. Too many expressions of praise can leave them insufferably arrogant.

Striking the balance to find appropriate praise and appropriate expressions of pride in the accomplishments of our children can be pretty tricky. These tips can help parents find the right approach to appropriate praise and appropriate expressions of pride in a child’s efforts and accomplishments.

* Praise Them

Our children get to do things all the time, and some of those things are more important than others.

For example, if a child participates in a piano recital, if a child has worked really hard, practiced every day, chose a difficult piece, and improved significantly, a high level of praise is appropriate. On the other hand, if the piano student bombed the recital because they didn’t prepare, didn’t practice and chose a less challenging piece, parents may not want to be effusive in their praise.

* Talk About the Obstacles They Had to Overcome

When children accomplish something in their lives, they have often had to overcome obstacles or difficulties in the process. Maybe they needed to sacrifice some things like time with friends to practice or hone their skills.

Perhaps they had some early losses in ​a competition that taught them areas for improvement. When we express pride not only in their accomplishment but also recognize what they had to overcome in the process, they can see how long we have watched and how much attention we paid to their efforts along the way.

* Express Confidence and Appreciation

Bragging about our children’s accomplishments is not as helpful to them by letting them know that we are pleased with their success and that they should be as well.

Expressing confidence in their abilities if a child did this well, she can do many things well and appreciation for the effort they put into the experience are much better expressions for them to hear and internalize.

* Don't Overdo It

Keeping your expressions of pride in context is important. Kids have an innate sense of proportion when it comes to their lives. Scoring her first points in a soccer game is worth some focus and attention, but it probably isn’t the kind of accomplishment that warrants a big neighborhood party.

Having a small family event (maybe pizza or ice cream) and a good discussion with the family about how to achieve personal goals would be appropriate.

* Choose the Right Time

Praise is best offered and best received when it is close to the accomplishment. Using our soccer analogy, it would be good to give some high fives at the game, but it would also be good to have the family ice cream celebration that day rather than waiting a week. Close proximity to the event and the recognition makes the whole thing even more meaningful for our child.