5 Tips To Be A More Natural Flirt

What does it even mean to “flirt” with someone? Well, in a nutshell, it’s when two people are communicating in a playful way with each other, creating tension, energy, and excitement and an important note is that it should be enjoyable for BOTH people.

Unfortunately, we’re not all natural born flirts. Even some of the most confident people can freeze up around someone they have feelings for. But that’s okay, because like most things, this is something that you can improve on.

# Practice, practice, practice

A large part of flirting is being completely comfortable and confident talking to people you don’t know. Many of us find this intimidating, and avoid such encounters, but in doing so we miss out on so many potential connections, friendships, and relationships.

So, how do you become confident at this?

You practice. Then you practice some more. And you keep on practicing until you feel comfortable and confident doing it, because you’ve removed any of the fear or anxiety by forcing yourself out of your comfort zone.

# Mirror the body language of the other person

There has been a lot of research done that suggests when we feel comfortable and connected to someone we’re talking to, we end up mirroring each other’s body language.

So, if they have a hand resting on their face, you can gently bring your hand up to yours—which will put them at ease. If they have their legs crossed or their arms folded across their chest, it means they’re closing themselves off to you, which is a sign this might not be the best person to flirt with.

# Pay specific attention to the other person

Like I mentioned earlier, if only one person is enjoying flirting, then it’s a failure. It has to be mutually enjoyable. But, how do you know if the other person is enjoying it?

By paying close attention to them. This means getting out of your head, and into the moment. Focus, and be present. Don’t think about something funny to say, or playing it cool. When you bring your focus to the person in front of you, you can understand what they desire, and then try and give that to them.

# Give compliments

If you’re new to this, compliments are a great way to break the ice. Find something genuine and interesting to say that will help you stand out from everyone else.

For example, women get told they’re hot/sexy/pretty ALL the time. You’re not making yourself stand out when you say that.

# Create an emotional experience

Flirting is about creating an emotional experience, and you can’t do this when you’re keeping things logical. So ditch talking about politics or science, and start talking about something this person is passionate about. People come alive when they speak about their passions.

Take down your wall a little, and get comfortable expressing yourself emotionally. People really love conversations like this.